More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems do this case? What do you think are the possible solution?

In contemporary society, the evidence that buying

cars

Use synonyms

has grown considerably in recent decades

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is obvious. Numerous individuals frequently purchase new automobiles and

this

Linking Words

phenomenon creates ample concern regarding the environment and road infrastructures. In my view, it can effectively be addressed by not only manufacturing electric-powered

cars

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

investing in well-structured roads. To commence with,

this

Linking Words

practice invites several difficulties in economic development. First and foremost, provided that individuals purchase many automobiles at the same time simultaneously, it will increase traffic congestion dramatically, which eventually contributes to environmental issues

such

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as noise and global warming. One of the fundamental reasons for

this

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is that having emitted harmful gases,

cars

Use synonyms

are being driven. Despite carbon emissions, people are buying

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

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continuously and

that is

Linking Words

leading to exacerbating environmental degradation and air quality issues.

Besides

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the more vehicles means the more use of natural resources

such

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as petrol and diesel.

As a result

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, on rising prices of fuels,

also

Linking Words

escalate the costs of other essential commodities. In essence, purchasing a huge number of

cars

Use synonyms

at once creates various problems in the economy of any country.

Linking Words

This

Correct determiner usage

These

show examples

aforementioned consequences can be tackled by applying numerous methods, not least among them is encouraging to use of public transportation and electric-powered vehicles. In

this

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case, the government corporations have to be accountable and individuals are motivated, it not only gets rid of environmental contamination but

also

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becomes more economically viable.

Additionally

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, by organizing preventative events, the government may generate to increase the statics of electric

cars

Use synonyms

. To cite an example, it is the emphasis on the financial status of the country by intergovernmental organizations that Japanese international companies

figured

Wrong verb form

figure

show examples

out a solution to reduce the mentioned problems. In

other word

Change the wording

another word

other words

show examples

, they used extremely motivational presentations to sell their new

cars

Use synonyms

and, after all, the number of customers increased significantly.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it will reduce both congestion and control the rising costs of other goods.

To conclude

Linking Words

, the increase in the number of purchased

cars

Use synonyms

can pose a problem for the environment, exacerbating traffic issues.

However

Linking Words

, in order to combat

this

Linking Words

problem, two ways should be applied. One of them is motivating public transportation, the

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

is ubiquitously recommending battery-powered automobiles.

muhammadrizoabduxalimov017

Mar 14, 2024

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Task Achievement

To further improve your essay, focus on adding more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This can add depth and persuasiveness to your argument.

Task Achievement

Work on the clarity and precision of your ideas. Aim to express your thoughts more succinctly and avoid redundancy, underlining the importance of each point more clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance the logical structure of your essay by ensuring each paragraph clearly focuses on a single main idea, supported by specific examples or evidence. This will make your argument stronger and more coherent.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments, making the relationship between ideas clearer.

Coherence and Cohesion

Review the introduction and conclusion of your essay to ensure they effectively summarize your main points and reinforce your overall argument.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

367 words

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More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems do this case? What do you think are the possible solution?

Many people are doing their shopping on the Internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of shopping online.

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people see sports only as a leisure activity, while others believe sports play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your option.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?