Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.
Some would argue that data from science study, biz and the
academical
world should be given Replace the word
academic
for
society without limits, Change preposition
to
while
others say that strategical
info must be accepted separately and used in moderation. Replace the word
strategic
While
free access to any kind of knowledge provides to high increase of
new Change preposition
in
discovery
, I believe that it is better to be realistic and continue to limit some intelligence.
On the one hand, to have an opportunity Fix the agreement mistake
discoveries
for accepting
any information for free is a great chance to develop our world in a better way. But let’s be honest, it can be deadly dangerous for humans to open Pandora’s Box. Change preposition
to accept
For example
, all of us are using abilities
of Correct article usage
the abilities
internet
, almost any kind of media, books, photos and articles can be found there. So, why Add an article
the internet
we
call net Add a missing verb
do we
garbage
store? Correct article usage
a garbage
Answer
is simple, too Add an article
The answer
much
destructive things Fix the agreement mistake
many
that
can hurt Correct pronoun usage
apply
most
undefeated part of people.
Correct article usage
the most
On the other hand
, restricting data is the way to save lives. As you know, poison kills or heals, it depends on doze
. You can never be sure Correct article usage
the doze
in
Change preposition
about
thoughts
of Correct article usage
the thoughts
other person
, Change the wording
another person
other people
not to mention
about other country’s leaders. For example
, industrial spies are hunting for the secret innovations of their competitors; it harms economics, decreases GDP and brakes
fates. Sometimes damage is uncountable.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
breaks
although
using data without borders might be reason
for development in Add an article
the reason
a reason
few
areas, Correct article usage
a few
it
is only one good reason for it and Correct pronoun usage
there
that is
why it is more important to use clue
with moderation. Confirmation of Fix the agreement mistake
clues
this
can be found in everyday life.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response. However, to improve task achievement, ensure to develop your ideas more fully with more specific examples. Consider adding more detailed scenarios or studies to substantiate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure, which helps in understanding your argument. Yet, to enhance coherence and cohesion, work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs. Phrases like 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' can be effective, but additional linking words or phrases could make the progression of your ideas more natural.
coherence cohesion
While you've done well in presenting your introduction and conclusion, aim for a clearer thesis statement that succinctly summarizes your main argument. This will strengthen the introduction and give your essay a stronger foundation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.