Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Celebrating personal occasions has become a popular trend
this
Linking Words
decade. Many
people
Use synonyms
feel that spending
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
celebration is not worth it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that these events enhance individual lives and society. In
this
Linking Words
essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will explain the two opposing ideas and views and present my personal views. From one view The main aim of events like weddings and birthdays is to spend time with family, friends, and colleagues to have fun.
This
Linking Words
gathering increases the strength of the relationship and provides happy memories. Traditional characteristics may be present in
people
Use synonyms
's styles, decisions, and foods.
Such
Linking Words
as Indian weddings, which are popular with special women’s styles like Sary and golds and special dances.  
On the other hand
Linking Words
, spending a lot of
money
Use synonyms
on wedding and birthday preparations isn't fair. To explain more, nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
celebrate
this
Linking Words
event for the show. They spent
money
Use synonyms
on unnecessary things like expensive decorations, lighting, and photo sessions.
For example
Linking Words
, a new trend even is the gender reveal party, which is not an important event, but
people
Use synonyms
spend
money
Use synonyms
and time organising like
this
Linking Words
event. on
oth
Correct your spelling
both
  I believe that organisers
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
small parties with simple decorations and close family and friends are sufficient and effective to have fun and good memories.
To conclude
Linking Words
, celebrating special events has many individual and social wellbeing impacts.
However
Linking Words
, wasting
money
Use synonyms
on unnecessary preparation is not acceptable
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. I believe that providing simple celebrations with less cost is more efficient than spending
money
Use synonyms
on important activities or donating when needed.
Submitted by arwa.m.24555 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use paragraphs to separate different ideas and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence
To improve coherence, use a range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. Make sure these logical connectors are used correctly to show the relationship between your ideas.
task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, make sure to fully address all parts of the task. Include more specific examples and details to support your arguments and opinions.
language
Work on varying sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly. This will help you to communicate your arguments more effectively and improve your overall score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lavish parties
  • essential expenditures
  • financial stress
  • lasting memories
  • social bonds
  • emotional support
  • familial and social ties
  • mental health
  • community cohesion
  • cultural heritage
  • sense of identity
  • traditional practices
  • sense of belonging
  • continuity
  • unique cultural aspects
  • personal well-being
  • routine
  • life satisfaction
  • reasonable budget
  • cost-effective
  • potluck parties
What to do next:
Look at other essays: