IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people believe that university students should study a full range of subjects, instead of some specific subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this viewpoint?

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Many individuals think that
students
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 enroll education in
university
Use synonyms
 should learn all of the scientific disciplines
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 deeply
undertanding
Correct your spelling
understanding
 some particular subjects. I strongly disagree, because everyone has their own expertise and many problems in our surroundings use interdisciplinary perspectives.
Firstly
Linking Words
, as we know
that
Correct word choice
apply
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every individual has their own expertise and
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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.
University
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 gives wider opportunities for
students
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 by providing a lot of variety study programs and
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
 in order to explore their potential.
In addition
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, learning
a special subjects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a special subject
special subjects
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according
Add the preposition
according to
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 interest will enhance personal's confidence in passing
ladder
Correct article usage
the ladder
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 career.
For example
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,
students
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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lacks
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lack
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 ability in
mathematics
Correct article usage
the mathematics
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 field but excel in social studies will select humanity and social major,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will enhance their trust
on
Change preposition
in
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 themselves
although
Linking Words
 they have
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
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 in one area, they still have superiority in another area.
Secondly
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, many common problems require the existence of
interdisciplinary
Correct article usage
an interdisciplinary
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 perspective. Some social issues need
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
knowledge
Change preposition
of knowledge
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 to solve the problem. By dividing people to learn
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
 their attraction in
University
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, it will help the environment to search
Change preposition
for solution
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 by understanding deeply based on proficiency background.
For example
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, currently, many
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 issues
such
Linking Words
 as illegal cutting in the forest utilize many approach
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 including law, biology and politics to diminish
this
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 problem.
To conclude
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, as I mentioned earlier, I strongly
dissagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 if folks
assumed
Wrong verb form
assume
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students
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
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 are in
university
Use synonyms
 should learn
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all of
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
show examples
knowledge
Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
show examples
, because everybody has their own
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
,
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
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 and expertise.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 we can not ignore that our
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems need to involve
interdisciplinary
Correct article usage
an interdisciplinary
show examples
 approach in order to look for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
.

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coherence cohesion
Focus on varying your sentence structures to make your argument more dynamic and engaging for the reader. Including a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can enhance the readability of your essay.
task achievement
To strengthen your essay, integrate more specific examples and evidence. While your argument is clear, substantiating your points with detailed examples or data can offer a stronger foundation for your assertions.
task achievement
While your essay discusses an interesting perspective, revisiting the prompt to ensure a direct address of the question asked can help in aligning your argument more closely with the task requirements. Remember, it's key to express whether you agree or disagree and why, directly related to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
For improved coherence, ensure smoother transitions between your paragraphs. Employ transition phrases and topic sentences that logically connect one idea to the next, making your essay's structure more cohesive and easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • interdisciplinary
  • innovation
  • critical thinking
  • adaptability
  • specialization
  • academic performance
  • cognitive overload
  • employability
  • workforce demands
  • niche areas
  • mastery
  • learning styles
  • career aspirations
What to do next:
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