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Band 6.5

Some working parents believe childcare centers can provide the best care for their children. Others believe that family members like grandparents can do a better job. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#parents #childcare #centers #care #children #members #grandparents #job
Nowadays there is a tendency for new
parents
 that believe in the better care that their offspring could receive
while
 some others still feel comfortable with the services that childcare is able to provide. I believe that both views are totally valid considering the advantages that
parents
 and
children
 will obtain. In
this
 essay, I will describe both viewpoints and their advantages. Considering the blessing of having grandparents who are able to take care of their grandkids,
this
 group of families are able to improve their finances because their
children
 are in good hands, and they do not have to spend a monthly fee on childcare. Another benefit that could be mentioned is family bondage where they are able to build a closer relationship with their grandparents.
In addition
,
children
 will be less exposed to typical health issues when kids begin to attend daycare facilities and diminish all interruptions in their sleep patterns because their
parents
 do not have the need to drop them off early in the mornings for their job schedules.
On the other hand
, for those that believe that childcare centres provide better services, it is a valid viewpoint considering the training of the teachers,
children
 are being exposed to play with other kids and it is the beginning of friendship relationships with other kids of their same age and even a mixture in between the youngest and the eldest of the day-care place. They will receive professional guidance and training for developing skills
according to
 their ages. All of these aspects mentioned above have a significant sense of help for working
parents
 when time is limited and could be expended with quality and stress-free. In conclusion, both views are completely valid it simply depends on the parent's lifestyles to decide which will be the best position suitable for their offspring.
Submitted by mantonieta.albarracin on

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Introduction Clarity
Consider using a clearer and more straightforward introduction. It should directly address the topic and your stance rather than implying it through nuanced language.
Paragraph Structure
Organize your ideas more logically by using clear paragraphing. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Use of Examples
To strengthen your argument, incorporate specific, real-life examples that relate to your points about the advantages and disadvantages of childcare centers versus family care.
Conciseness
Avoid repetition and aim for conciseness in your sentences. This will help in improving the clarity and impact of your essay.
Conclusion Strength
Work on a stronger, more explicit conclusion. Clearly summarize your main points and restate your opinion in a compelling way.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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