Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

As science and
technology
advanced in leaps and bounds,
multitude
Correct article usage
a multitude
show examples
adults
Change preposition
of adults
show examples
are able to
work
at
home
.
A
Change the article
An
show examples
increasing number of
children
are starting their education from
home
since
technology
turns
Verb problem
has become
show examples
more convenient and less expensive.
Although
it would bring some
undiniable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
benefits, stay-at-
home
lifestyle development has more negative effects. On the one hand,
technology
indeed facilitates
people
's
livies
Correct your spelling
lives
. Working from
home
prevents
people
from long-distance commuting
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
allows them to have more time and energy on
work
, which will ultimately boost
work
efficiency. What's more, internet advancement provides a large amount of sources for
children
to learn freely. Teenagers can search for anything they want to know
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
just clicking the mouse. For those
children
who have financial difficulties, books and
vedios
Correct your spelling
videos
on the internet allow them to have the chance to know different countries and cultures without
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
these
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
by themselves.
On the other hand
, many harmful
influence
Change to a plural noun
influences
show examples
of
technology
should not be neglected.
First,
it requires strong willpower to keep self-control when
people
work
or study at
home
because they tend to relax and entertain in a comfortable environment. One can easily fall into leisure activity when he's at
home
instead
of working.
Second,
building social connection is an important process for
children
when they study at school, which is the
home
studying can never replace. It will help
children
to form good
communicating
Replace the word
communication
show examples
skills and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
abilities.
Finally
, different files and sources on the internet are not all beneficial for young
people
. The youth may be attracted by wrong and
harzardous
Correct your spelling
hazardous
information and be influenced easily.
To conclude
,
while
technology
makes our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
more and more convenient, its side effects need to be seen as well.
Submitted by JJ on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. While your response covers both sides of the argument, make sure to explicitly state your own opinion if the question requires it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more logically and make transitions between sentences and paragraphs smoother. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas.
Task Achievement
To improve clarity and depth of your argument, use more specific examples and elaborate on how they support your points. While general examples are provided, more detailed and personal examples would strengthen your answer.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
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