Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

In these
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
, becoming increasingly free and paid
museums
. I reckon
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
it is more useful I mean benefits for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. It is too much advantage to
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
show examples
pocket.
For example
when
people
go to the
museums
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
all staff request
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
few
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
cash for access to
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
. So, that situation
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
beneficial for
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
However
, some
people
do not afford
paid
Change the verb form
to pay
show examples
for access and sometimes
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
made
let down
Correct your spelling
letdown
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
. If that
country
is poor,
people
cannot pay for any
museums
and
this
condition
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
to more
harmful
Replace the word
harm
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
society. I guess
this
big concern.
In addition
government should
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
solve
Correct article usage
the problem
show examples
problem
Correct article usage
the problem
show examples
with
museum's amount
Change noun form
museums
show examples
are crucial noteworthy
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
in
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
.
As well as
, every
museums
Change to a singular noun
museum
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
includes exhibitions, ancient
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
and a lot of weapons of
wars
Fix the agreement mistake
war
show examples
. I completely agree with
this
point of view. Because every
country
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
must be,
contained
Wrong verb form
contain
show examples
historical
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
for old tools, as exactly
museums
can say
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
history. Totally
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
buildings make an impression. And it is vital for every
tourists
Change to a singular noun
tourist
show examples
apart from every
people
who relax. When
people
Replace the word
enter
show examples
entry
Replace the word
enter
show examples
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
museum
Correct article usage
the museum
show examples
people
shall travel past
Fix the agreement mistake
centuries
show examples
century
Fix the agreement mistake
centuries
show examples
such
as
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
in the
war
Correct word choice
past war
show examples
prehistoric houses and
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
in the
Replace the word
image
show examples
imagine
Replace the word
image
show examples
.
Furthermore
, some children do not have
such
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money and
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
do not
access
Add a missing verb
have access
show examples
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
museums
due to
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
cash
fot
Correct your spelling
for
entry to
museums
. In conclusion, humans living modern
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
and
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
show examples
digital technology
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
every
people
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
not want to go outside for exactly
museums
they are able to
visual
Change the word
visually
show examples
jogging and around the
museums
. And
people
who want to go somewhere, just doing online,
such
as visual travel and online
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
An
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
addition, I will try to ask the government to make
museums
completely free
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay could greatly benefit from a clearer structure. Consider using distinct paragraphs for your introduction, each of your main points, and your conclusion. This will help readers follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly states your main points or thesis statement. This sets the stage for your essay and lets the reader know what to expect.
task achievement
Improve the development of your main points by supporting them with specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes it more persuasive.
task achievement
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Try to express your thoughts in a more coherent and comprehensible manner. Using simple sentences and clearly defining your viewpoints can significantly improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
Make sure to directly address the task given. Your essay should clearly answer the question asked, evaluating the advantages and disadvantages as well as stating your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: