While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?

In contemporary society, because of a lack of qualified workers
such
as electricians and plumbers,
it is clear that
a number of
people
should be motivated to learn vocational institute
while
more
people
tend to study in university for academic study.
This
essay will discuss both sides of the controversy, and my opinion will be provided. On the one hand, advocates of
this
proposition believe that students should be encouraged to learn in vocational school so they can be workers
such
as mechanics in the future.
It is clear that
when they graduate from
this
institution, they can find a career too easily because some places need them to work for the community.
In other words
, jobs like electricians are the foundation of society, and every company or village have to have
this
career to improve and assist.
Moreover
,
this
issue can reduce troubles about unemployment because of the high opportunity for some jobs.
For example
, the more
people
are interested in professional training, the more a decrease in the unemployment rate.
On the other hand
, those against
this
idea argue that
although
students have physical abilities which are given in professional school, they have to learn academic studies at university. It is obvious that theoretical skills are necessary for them because these skills can develop their capacities.
As a result
, having academic abilities brings about benefits for educators. In conclusion, a number of
people
prefer to go to university rather than vocational training,
for
this
reason, it can cause a lack of qualified workers.
Therefore
, many educators should be motivated to learn about physical skills.
Submitted by champperkhu on

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task achievement
The essay should include a clear opinion that answers the question. Your position is mentioned but could be more explicitly stated. Make sure to directly address the essay prompt and provide a compelling argument for your view.
coherence cohesion
Ideas in the essay must be organized logically, and paragraphs should be used effectively to separate different points. Aim for more precise topic sentences and clearer progression of ideas throughout the paragraphs.
task achievement
The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points of the essay and restate the writer's position. Yours could be more clearly articulated, ensuring it emphasizes the overall argument you presented in the essay.
task achievement
To score higher for task response, make sure to develop arguments with specific examples and evidence which support your points. General statements should be solidified with detailed reasoning or examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammar and vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and accurately. There are some instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors which hinder the reader's understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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