What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching TV
Some people believe that watching
television
is good and bad for teens. I will discuss some of the reasons why watching TV
is a benefit and some of the challenges to be overcome.
Let's begin by looking at the advantages of watching television
. One of the main positives of watching TV
is that it provide
useful information related to the news, movies, family, cartoons, discovery, and so on. What I mean by Change the verb form
provides
this
is that it helps to increase children
's knowledge day by day and information can be
reach Unnecessary verb
apply
viewer
easily.
Fix the agreement mistake
viewers
Secondly
, watching television
can lead to a better quality of life. Take the American people for example
. American children
watch TV
because it freshens the mood of the views during the whole day.
On the other hand
, watching television
is a major problem. Many people believe that watching more TV
wastes teenagers's time. This
is simply because the students do not pay attention to their studies while
watching TV
. On top of that, watching television
makes children
physically Unfit, and watching too much TV
vibes teens' imagination and creativity. This
means that TV
also
makes a lot of sounds which affects children
's minds and reduces the ability of children
to focus. After that, it affects the eyes of the viewers if teens watch television
and sit very close. Furthermore
, TV
makes children
antisocial, taking the place of family and friends.
All things considered, watching TV
has both advantages and disadvantages. Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of personal growth eventually outweigh any negatives.Submitted by omondavlat91 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve in coherence and cohesion, focus on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and clarifying the relationship between your ideas more explicitly. You can use transitional phrases such as "Furthermore", "In contrast", or "Additionally" to guide the reader through your argumentation more fluidly.
Task Response
In terms of task response, ensure that you address all parts of the task. You have discussed both advantages and disadvantages of watching TV for children effectively, but including a wider range of examples and some statistical data or studies could enhance the depth and relevance of your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
For better coherence, work on structuring your essay more effectively by having a clear introductory paragraph that outlines the essay's structure, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a specific point, and closing with a concise conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
Task Response
To enhance task achievement, aim for a more balanced discussion on the advantages and disadvantages by dedicating equal time and depth to each. Also, always back up your points with specific examples or experiences to make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.