IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Transporting large amount of food to richer nations from developing countries is having an impact on air pollution and climate change. Some people say such imports should therefore be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The mass movement of nutrition and
goods
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 requires transportation that results in a polluted environment.
Although
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 people think the solution to
this
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 is to lessen these imports, I wholeheartedly believe that
this
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 is not the best approach and the government should consider other ways. First and foremost, I suppose rich
countries
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 should invest their income in research and technology.
While
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 other
countries
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 are trying to increase their GDP by production and export, they do not have the money nor
time
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 to
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
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 activities. To clarify, activities should be divided between nations, because
time
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 is limited and they must use it wisely.
As a result
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, societies with money must utilize it to do research and other money-consuming activities which do not produce income instantly, and societies in progress must spend their
time
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 on projects that cause profit on
time
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.
Additionally
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, first-world nations can use the research in order to find ways to fight pollution.
In other words
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, approaches to clean transportation must be found for importing
goods
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. I believe
this
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 is much more practical than reducing the incoming products.
Moreover
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,
this
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 act requires expanding farms and the agriculture industry, which some
countries
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 might not even have the opportunity to do so
due to
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 their uncomfortable weather and ground conditions.
Nevertheless
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,
countries
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 can build and invent trend vehicles to move products into their country. In conclusion, I suspect that lessening the incoming
goods
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 into societies is not a beneficial solution, and high-GDP nations must invest their money in universities and other non-profitable tasks.
In addition
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, various approaches can be utilized in order to get food and
goods
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while
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 not impacting the environment.

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more convincing. This could strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Consider dividing complex ideas into shorter, clearer sentences to improve understanding and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The writer maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph addressing a distinct point related to the topic.
task achievement
The writer has addressed the task with a complete response, discussing both sides of the argument before providing a personal stance.
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