What are the advantages and desadvantages for children of watching television ?

#desadvantages #children #television

It is highly believed that watching television can bring more cons than pros.I firmly believe that it can cause more negative things reather than positives. On the one hand it has a variety of merits.First and something in foregn language by watching

For example

in Korea young generation learn foregn language movie, by watching.Apart from that some young esters make a habit of watching

. Because some young children do not have any friend and is not at the circle of friends.

Therefore

, they watch

most of the time. One the hand, it has a variety of.First of all.It may have a bad impact on young childrens eyes and if they keep watching every day.They can have a headache constantly.So if young genaration spend a lot of time watching

movie and cartoon

this

also

harmful for the health.

Secondly

of all

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

they spend too much time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching television and begin to withdraw from the world of

Replace the word

learning

show examples

learn

Wrong verb form

learning

show examples

Then

they start to change for the

bad

Replace the word

worse

show examples

.For instaince they fall behind with homework.

To sum up

a lot of children like watching

Also

watching television has a number of benefits and as well

drawbackets

Correct your spelling

drawbacks

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Fri Mar 15 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic, but it lacks a structured development of ideas. To improve, begin with an introduction that clearly states the essay’s topic and your viewpoint. Then, organize your body paragraphs by discussing one advantage or disadvantage per paragraph, providing clear examples to support each point. A conclusion should summarize your arguments and reiterate your stance.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay’s coherence could be enhanced by creating clearer connections between ideas. Use a variety of transition words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly. Also, ensure that each paragraph sticks to a single main idea, which is clearly stated in its opening sentence.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve cohesion, consider planning your essay before writing. This will help in logically ordering your points and ensuring each paragraph flows into the next. Additionally, revising your writing for grammar and vocabulary will aid in creating a more coherent and cohesive essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

196 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Individuals generally commemorate the festivals for entertainment purposes, but they do not have any knowledge regarding their traditional as well as religious significance. I totally agree with this testimonial because they do not inherit good relations with their elders, and they are affected by Western culture as well.
5
band
Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?
It's common for people to discuss their personal lives with their colleagues. Some individuals prefer not to share their personal life with others. It's important to maintain professional boundaries with colleagues and avoid oversharing personal information.
7.5
band
The international community should take action immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often said that one of the most important responsibilities of the international community is to ensure that all countries reduce their consumption of fossil fuels, such as natural gas and oil. From my perspective, I completely agree with this idea.
6.5
band
Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, universities tend to run their courses on the Internet so people can study online. From my perspective, the positive aspects of these online courses outweigh their drawbacks.
5.5
band
convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Since the advent of mechanization and processing techniques developed during the time around the Industrial Revolution, our food has become increasingly removed and modified from its natural state. Despite this trend, I would argue in this essay that it is impossible to exclude traditional cuisine from our daily life and traditional way of eating will become more valuable to masses.

What are the advantages and desadvantages for children of watching television ?

Fully explain your ideas

Most people have forgotten the meaning behind traditional or religious festivals; during festival periods, people nowadays only want to enjoy themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

The international community should take action immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and traditional methods of food preparation. to what extent do you agree or disagree?