Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

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Some people think that the salaries of famous musicians, movie stars, and sports celebrities are too high.

This

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essay discusses why I agree with the statement and which other careers should be paid more. I strongly agree that celebrities' salaries are too high.

This

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is because their earnings are disproportionally higher than those of non-known artists.

For instance

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, I am at the beginning of my artistic career and, very often, I find myself struggling to pay rent and other essential bills. Another reason why I think

this

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statement is true is that most well-known entertainer often spends a lot of cash on luxury products. The reason for

this

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might be that they are constantly trying to prove their social status by purchasing futile items,

such

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as jewellery, cars, or mansions.

On the other hand

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, other careers should earn more. The first of these are health-related positions,

such

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as doctors, nurses, and dentists.

This

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is because people's lives depend on

this

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type of work and

therefore

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, they should be paid

accordingly

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. Another profession that should have a higher wage is educators,

such

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as schoolteachers. The reason for

this

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is that education is one of the most important pillars of a developed society.

Consequently

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, educational workers' pay should be higher

due to

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their responsibility to the country's teaching system. In conclusion, my reasons to believe that celebrities are paid too much are that they receive a disproportional amount of cash in comparison to beginner artists and that they are often keen on spending their salaries on luxury items. The professions that should be paid a lot more than they usually do are health-related positions and educators.

amandacflago23Sat Mar 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear and concise main topic sentence to guide the reader through your argument. This helps in maintaining a logical flow throughout the essay.

task achievement

In the body paragraphs, focus on developing your ideas further with more detailed examples. Providing specific cases or statistics can strengthen your argument and support your main points more convincingly.

task achievement

While presenting your view, ensure that it is consistent and clear from the introduction to the conclusion. Avoid making statements that might seem contradictory or unclear to maintain a strong stance throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs seamlessly. This also helps in making your essay more readable and engaging.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians, or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?

Some people say that parents should spend time on reading or telling stories to children, while others think parents no longer have to do this because there are other sources for stories such as books, TV, and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashions, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extend do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

Some individuals prefer temporary employment, which allows them to work only a few months each year and dedicate the remaining time to pursuing their interests. Others think longer employment is better. What is your opinion?