Some people think that television has made people's life more interesting and beautiful. Do you agree or disagree?
Technology is flourishing by leaps and bounds in each and every field, especially
entertainment
sector. Correct article usage
the entertainment
However
, some people
say that TV
provides plenty of interesting and beautiful content to the population
. I strongly disagree with this
statement because TV
brings numerous adverse to the population
such
as anxiety
, depression
, isolation, and distrubing
social connection. A Correct your spelling
disturbing
further
explanation will be presented in this
essay.
To commence with, television
links to anxiety
and
depression
because all entertainment
contents
only provides more negative vibes to Fix the agreement mistake
content
people
who watch constantly in
a regular Change preposition
on
basic
. Correct your spelling
basis
This
is because television
programs indirectly spreating
opposite
direction to humans to become more cruel, so they suffer Correct your spelling
spreading
depression
issue
. Fix the agreement mistake
issues
For example
, these days, TV
series contains
more violence, Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
thus
, younger
generation might Add an article
the younger
be suffered
and Wrong verb form
suffer
to
become cruel persons. Fix the infinitive
apply
Hence
, TV
has not made people
's lives more interesting and beautiful besides
it causes anxiety
and depression
to the population
.
Furthermore
, watching TV
disconnects to
society in order to mankind Change preposition
apply
became
Wrong verb form
become
isolation
without Replace the word
isolated
communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
to
others Change preposition
with
instead
of
they prefer to watch Correct word choice
apply
television
programs only. This
is because humans may dependence
on electronic items to get Replace the word
depend
entertainment
rather than building
a strong connection to the Wrong verb form
build
population
. For instance
,
when a person gets entertainment
from TV
, he obtains self-satisfaction indeed only but when they try to connect this
world Change preposition
with this
while
they obtain real happiness Correct word choice
apply
along with
entertainment
. Hereby, TV
is
not only provides infotainment but Unnecessary verb
apply
also
disconnects from the real world.
In conclusion, television
causes anxiety
, depression
and isolation from society as well as
it
stimulates Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
to become more cruel. Therefore
, I strongly disagree with this
statement because TV
has not made people
's lives more beautiful and interesting unlike it brings adverse effects to the population
.Submitted by reanudeepan on
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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and gives the reader a succinct overview of what to expect in the essay. Avoid making broad statements without a clear stance.
task response
Develop your main points more thoroughly by providing more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will help make your essay more convincing and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Strive for a variety of sentence structures and a richer vocabulary to make your writing more engaging. This will also help to more accurately convey your ideas and opinions.
coherence cohesion
Remember to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. These mistakes can distract from your message and reduce the clarity of your writing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.