Some people think that television has made people's life more interesting and beautiful. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #television #life

Technology is flourishing by leaps and bounds in each and every field, especially

entertainment

Correct article usage

the entertainment

show examples

sector.

However

, some

people

say that

provides plenty of interesting and beautiful content to the

population

. I strongly disagree with

this

statement because

brings numerous adverse to the

population

such

anxiety

depression

, isolation, and

distrubing

Correct your spelling

disturbing

social connection. A

further

explanation will be presented in

this

essay. To commence with,

television

links to

anxiety

and

depression

because all

entertainment

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

only provides more negative vibes to

people

who watch constantly

Change preposition

show examples

a regular

basic

Correct your spelling

basis

show examples

This

is because

television

programs indirectly

spreating

Correct your spelling

spreading

opposite direction to humans to become more cruel, so they suffer

depression

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

For example

, these days,

series

contains

Correct subject-verb agreement

contain

show examples

more violence,

thus

younger

Add an article

the younger

show examples

generation might

be suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

become cruel persons.

Hence

has not made

people

's lives more interesting and beautiful

besides

it causes

anxiety

and

depression

to the

population

Furthermore

, watching

disconnects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

society in order to mankind

became

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

isolation

Replace the word

isolated

show examples

without

communicate

Change the verb form

communicating

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

others

instead

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they prefer to watch

television

programs only.

This

is because humans may

dependence

Replace the word

depend

show examples

on electronic items to get

entertainment

rather than

building

Wrong verb form

build

show examples

a strong connection to the

population

For instance

, when a person gets

entertainment

from

, he obtains self-satisfaction indeed only but when they try to connect

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

world

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they obtain real happiness

along with

entertainment

. Hereby,

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not only provides infotainment but

also

disconnects from the real world. In conclusion,

television

causes

anxiety

depression

and isolation from society

as well as

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

stimulates

people

to become more cruel.

Therefore

, I strongly disagree with

this

statement because

has not made

people

's lives more beautiful and interesting unlike it brings adverse effects to the

population

Submitted by reanudeepan on Sat Mar 16 2024

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task response

Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and gives the reader a succinct overview of what to expect in the essay. Avoid making broad statements without a clear stance.

task response

Develop your main points more thoroughly by providing more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will help make your essay more convincing and engaging.

coherence cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Strive for a variety of sentence structures and a richer vocabulary to make your writing more engaging. This will also help to more accurately convey your ideas and opinions.

coherence cohesion

Remember to proofread your essay for spelling and grammatical errors. These mistakes can distract from your message and reduce the clarity of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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16Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that television has made people's life more interesting and beautiful. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that zoos, which keep wild animals by man-made environment should no longer exist in 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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