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Writing Samples
Band 7

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in school to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#education #school #students #money
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To equip
students
 with effective money
management
 skills, financial education should be obligatory in schools .
Although
 it could enhance
students
' understanding of budgeting and fiscal responsibility, it could be not appropriate
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all levels of pupils, as not all of them could have mature mindsets. Introducing financial
management
 as a subject will empower
students
 to grasp the principles of effective money
management
. As it will be more advantageous to them in their future career. They will learn how to spend and earn money in an efficient way , and how to supply their own life expenses.
Furthermore
 being aware of financial
management
 will enhance their awareness of prudent allocation of funds.
For instance
, they will be able to efficiently administer their allowance and refrain from spending on unnecessary items.
Moreover
, early exposure to financial education can instil a culture of saving and discourage frivolous spending habits in young individuals. On the opposite,
while
 there are benefits to making financial study mandatory for
students
, it is compulsory to consider the appropriateness of
this
 subject at different academic levels.
For example
, if first-grade
students
 are taught about finances, it will be tough for to them understand, as they might not have the cognitive capacity to comprehend its complexities.
Thus
, it is essential to limit the introduction of financial teaching to higher academic levels where
students
 have a more developed understanding of monetary concepts.
To conclude
, the benefits of
this
 field will be more pronounced for admission with a strong grasp of financial concepts enhancing their
overall
 understanding of financial administration,
whereas
 it may prove to be burdensome for those who are not yet proficient in financial matters.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transitional phrases to smoothly connect sections and ideas.
task achievement
To enhance the completeness of your response, delve deeper into the implications of financial education at various academic levels and provide more detailed examples.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific, real-world examples to reinforce your main points. This will add depth to your arguments and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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