IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

many people think that the world should speak one language, others argue that countries should have its own languages. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #world #language #countries #languages
It
is widely believe
Change the verb form
is widely believed
show examples
 that people should
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
 one
language
 to speak at each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. Even though nowadays there are having a different
mother-tounge
Correct your spelling
mother-tongue
 languages to speak in their countries. These ideas will be explained in the following paragraph.
First,
the origin of people is having their own
language
.If everyone
use
Change the verb form
uses
show examples
 the same
language
, the
barrier
 of languages will be broken.
Moreover
, the difficulty
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 learning
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
 is over.Some jobs will gone without
language
.
For example
, diplomat is one of the occupations ,
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
use
language
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 for work, will not need anymore.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 different cultures
are
Verb problem
find it
show examples
 hard to understand
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
,
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
language
 will be the tool to
communciate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
get rid of the
culture
Replace the word
cultural
show examples
barrier
. Second,most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
elders usually
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 to keep the
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
old cultures including
language
.The gorgeous of languages is built up with
delicatement
Correct your spelling
delicate meat
. In China, they do not
use
 any alphabets but they
use
 the picture to write
instead
.
In every
Change preposition
Every
show examples
words
Change to a singular noun
word
show examples
 which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 human in Chinese
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 comprised
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a stickman picture.
On the other hand
 ,
this
 idea causes a
barrier
 to
communicate
Replace the word
communication
show examples
 with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.If everyone can communicate
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other, they will exchange
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 and
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 between them. In my opinion, people should
use
 only one
lanuguagu
Correct your spelling
language
 because of
Correct article usage
the convenient
show examples
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
 and destruction
language
barrier
.
Submitted by voradonkan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay by clearly dividing it into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows logically from one to the next.
Coherence & Cohesion
In the introduction, clearly paraphrase the question and state your opinion. In the conclusion, summarize your main points and reiterate your opinion clearly and decisively.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Use specific, real-world examples where possible to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
General Advice
Work on grammar and spelling to enhance readability and professionalism. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure proper punctuation.
Task Achievement
Consider both views more equally before giving your opinion. Acknowledge the strengths and weaknesses of both sides to develop a more balanced and nuanced argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: