IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Smoking has been banned in public places. It is the law that many people support. I agree with this statement because smoking has a bad effect on health, and this action is a positive step for people to stop smoking.

Cigarette smoking contributes to various
health
Use synonyms
 problems, including heart disease, lung cancer, and respiratory infections.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
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 who come into contact with smokers are exposed to secondhand
smoke
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, which can seriously harm their
health
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.
For
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this
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 reason, banning smoking is an important step to reduce the risk of preventable diseases.
For example
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, in Saudi Arabia, there is a law that prohibits smoking in official institutions, which has helped reduce the negative effects of smoking on the public.
Leading
Wrong verb form
This has led
show examples
 many countries to adopt similar measures . Cigarette smoking contributes to various
health
Use synonyms
 problems, including heart disease, lung cancer, and respiratory infections.
In addition
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who come into contact with smokers are exposed to secondhand
smoke
Use synonyms
, which can seriously harm their
health
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, banning smoking is an important step to reduce the risk of preventable diseases.
For example
Linking Words
, in Saudi Arabia, there is a law that prohibits smoking in official institutions, which has helped reduce the negative effects of smoking on the public.
Leading
Wrong verb form
This has led
show examples
 many countries to adopt similar measures . The second main reason is that banning smoking in public places is a crucial step in helping
people
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 quit. When smoking is not allowed in social areas
such
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 as restaurants and parks, the number of times
people
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smoke
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 naturally decreases.
As a result
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, smokers have fewer opportunities to
smoke
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, which pushes them to consider quitting.
For example
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, in India, the lack of strict smoking regulations has contributed to a high number of deaths caused by tobacco use every year. In conclusion, I believe that implementing strict rules to prevent smoking in public places is an effective measure. It not only protects
people
Use synonyms
 from serious
health
Use synonyms
 problems but
also
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 encourages individuals to consider quitting.
Therefore
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,
such
Linking Words
 policies contribute to building a healthier society
that is
Linking Words
 free from smoking-related diseases.

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task
Be clear in the intro. State your view in one short sentence, then give the reasons.
structure
Make the body hold one idea per paragraph. Start each with a clear topic sentence.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas and avoid repeating the same fact.
content
Add more explanation for each example. Show how it supports your main idea.
grammar
Check grammar and punctuation. Fix long sentences and fragments.
content
You state a clear view that smoking in public should be banned.
examples
The essay uses real life examples from different countries to back ideas.
structure
The last part repeats the main idea and ends with a clear conclusion.
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