IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that too much time and resources are spent on the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #resources #protection #animals #birds
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
humans
Use synonyms
 believe that more attention and too many opportunities are given
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the protection of
wildlife
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,individuals can give them more chances for
creatures
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will suggest
people
Use synonyms
 care about wild
animals
Use synonyms
 and
birds
Use synonyms
,
besides
Linking Words
,they do not kill or they do not use them for commodities.
Secondly
Linking Words
,the population who are interrupted by nature or
wildlife
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
,maybe,it is causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad conditions. I partly agree,that governments and
people
Use synonyms
 can help them so they commence to live.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
animals
Use synonyms
 or
birds
Use synonyms
 can not
a choice
Correct your spelling
choose
show examples
 to act alive.
People
Use synonyms
 give them food or nests that living
humans
Use synonyms
.But sometimes
wildlife
Use synonyms
creatures
Use synonyms
 need protection,even though,they have to live in a natural atmosphere.Despite the fact that they look for food places where they would eat anything in their area.The
primarily
Change the adverb
primary
show examples
 example ,
animals
Use synonyms
 can not find
Correct article usage
a comfortably
show examples
comfortably
Change the adverb
comfortable
show examples
 place when they need to survive.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are able to do some beneficial assist nature
creatures
Use synonyms
.More
humans
Use synonyms
 opt for useful ways who help them.
For instance
Linking Words
,individuals give them
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to create some opportunities.
However
Linking Words
,the population rate is increasing day-to-day and they can utilize natural commodities or resources.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
humans
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 care for
animals
Use synonyms
 and
birds
Use synonyms
. I partly disagree,the population
also
Linking Words
 uses their value skin or meat and eggs.In spite of
people
Use synonyms
 will not conserve many species that they consume or eradicate them.Administration requires to production of more things for import or
Use synonyms
humans'
Fix the agreement mistake
human'
show examples
 consumption.
For example
Linking Words
,Christmas ret can be extinct and their generation is set up to wild extinction. In a nutshell,
humans
Use synonyms
 do not add natural
Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 which cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad conditions.
As well as
Linking Words
 they give them many
opportunity
Change to a plural noun
opportunities
show examples
 and they cease to join the environmental
system
Use synonyms
.In my opinion,we are same time for
wildlife
Use synonyms
creatures
Use synonyms
 and we
also
Linking Words
 utilize
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 resources on average.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 and
animals
Use synonyms
 or
birds
Use synonyms
 are able to survive in our earth.Because
animals
Use synonyms
 or
birds
Use synonyms
 are not alive,
people
Use synonyms
 do not survive
too
Rephrase
either
show examples
.We must utilize or assist in optimal status and we balance our life
system
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure. It's crucial to have a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by examples or reasons.
task achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your opinion on the topic. This helps to set the context for your arguments and provides a clear direction for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will improve the flow and understanding of your essay.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points. This adds credibility to your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.
general
Review and correct grammatical errors and ensure sentence structures are varied and correct. This will improve the readability and professionalism of your essay.
task achievement
Stay on topic and ensure that each paragraph contributes to your overall argument. Avoid deviating too far from the main topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Biodiversity
  • Intrinsic value
  • Ecological balance
  • Conservation efforts
  • Endangered species
  • Sustainable resource management
  • Habitat preservation
  • Eco-tourism
  • Job creation
  • Ethical considerations
  • Allocated resources
  • Poverty alleviation
  • Educational initiatives
  • Future generations
  • Wildlife protection
What to do next:
Look at other essays: