IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

1. Schools should teach financial management. Do you agree? (Revised to Opinion structure)

In today’s modern world, managing money is becoming a basic life skill. Some people believe that financial management should be taught in schools. I completely agree with
this
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 idea because it prepares
students
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 for real-life responsibilities and helps them build independence from a young age. One major reason is that financial education teaches
students
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 how to handle real-world situations. Many young adults today struggle with credit card debt or loans because they never learned how to budget, save, or plan ahead. If
students
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 learn about interest rates, debt, and personal finance at school, they can avoid common financial mistakes and make better decisions as adults.
For example
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, teenagers who understand how savings accounts work are more likely to build healthy financial habits. Another important reason is that it promotes independence and responsibility. When
students
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 learn to manage money, they become more confident in making their own decisions.
This
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 can help them in many areas of life,
such
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 as managing a part-time job salary or saving for higher education. Understanding financial risks
also
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 helps them avoid scams or bad investments. In conclusion, I strongly believe that teaching financial management in schools is necessary. It helps
students
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 prepare for the real world and supports them in becoming more independent and responsible adults.

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task response
Your introduction is clear and states your opinion well. Make sure to briefly mention the main points you'll discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between points to help the flow of your ideas.
task response
Include more specific examples, such as particular financial tools or concepts students could learn about, to support your points.
task response
Your main points are strong and clearly support your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay ends with a good conclusion that restates your belief in teaching financial management.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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