IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some think that teaching children at home is more benefical for their development, while other say they should go to school.discuss the advantages of both views and give your presonal opinion

#think #children #home #development #school
Some people think that children should get their teaching at home for their best growth
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that a
chilld
Correct your spelling
child
 should go to
school
.
This
 essay will
talked
Change the verb form
talk
show examples
 about the advantages of both views and
stating
Wrong verb form
state
show examples
 my personal opinion
at the end
 .
First,
children
reciving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 their education at home has several advantages.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example a child feels more safe, secure when he is around his parents, which may
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a positive
effective
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 on the
child
Change noun form
child's
show examples
 productivity. Another advantage of teaching kids at home is rarely
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
face difficult
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 like bullying which
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
common
Add an article
a common
show examples
 issue in the
school
 community.
On the other hand
, children joining
school
an
Add a missing verb
have an
show examples
 attractive side.
For example
 ,
school
 is
primary
Add an article
the primary
a primary
show examples
 place to prepare
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 for social life.They can make friends,
Correct word choice
and relatioship
show examples
relatioship
Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships
 and it boosts their social and communication skills.
Furthermore
,
school
 is a strict and systematic place where kids learn to follow the rules and discipline.
To sum up
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would recommend
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
 as the best place for teaching that has
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
show examples
 effect on the child's growth and improvement .
Submitted by nasraalghelani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, aim to structure your essay more logically. Use clear paragraphs; each should have a main idea and supporting sentences. Also, ensure your ideas flow logically from one to the next, using transition words such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', or 'however'.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. It's important to discuss the advantages of both views before stating your opinion. Use specific examples to support your points more effectively. This will make your ideas clearer and your argument stronger.
general advice
Mind your spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Consistent small errors can distract from your message and reduce the clarity of your writing. Consider using tools or asking someone to proofread your work before submission.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!