Young people today spend too much money and time following fashion trends (clothing, tech). What is the reason? Is it a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, it is common to see young
people
Use synonyms
squander their time and
money
Use synonyms
on keeping up with the latest
trends
Use synonyms
, including buying flashy clothing and gadgets. From my perspective, the desire for self-expression is the root cause and
this
Linking Words
trend brings a number of negative consequences.
Due to
Linking Words
the development of society,
people
Use synonyms
are now living in a world full of convenience and wealth. The internet and social media have
also
Linking Words
been developing rapidly and have exposed
people
Use synonyms
, particularly the youth, to large amounts of images of those with desirable and lavish lifestyles. Both of these factors contribute to the fact that many young individuals tend to overspend on luxurious items,
such
Linking Words
as fashionable clothes and high-end tech gadgets, to show off their wealth to others. Many young
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
spend too much of their time trying to keep up with the latest fashion
trends
Use synonyms
. In the long run,
this
Linking Words
can have adverse effects, not only on young
people
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
on society as a whole. Following the fashion
trends
Use synonyms
may drive young
people
Use synonyms
to overspend; many might even be pushed to the edge of bankruptcy if they continue to waste their hard-earned
money
Use synonyms
. Things can become worse financially, especially when unexpected incidents occur,
such
Linking Words
as accidents, or when the need arises to pay tuition fees. On a social level, should more
money
Use synonyms
be spent on luxurious goods, the need for common products will dwindle, causing a reduction
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
sales of common goods which may eventually affect local businesses and economies. In conclusion, many young
people
Use synonyms
tend to
misspend
Verb problem
spend
show examples
their
money
Use synonyms
to keep up with the newest
trends
Use synonyms
in the world of fashion.
While
Linking Words
many do it in order to boast about their wealth,
this
Linking Words
can have several negative consequences in my opinion.
Submitted by shafaeat.shoaib on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to provide a variety of specific examples to support your points for stronger arguments.
coherence cohesion
Continue to maintain a clear structure with well-organized introduction and conclusion to guide the reader through your essay.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive response to the task with a logical flow of ideas, maintaining focus on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Effective structure with a strong introduction and conclusion that succinctly present and wrap up the main ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: