Some people think that zoos are cruel and have no place in the modern world. Others feel that zoos still serve a useful purpose. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#people #zoos #place #world #purpose

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It is generally accepted that zoos have been consuming cruel

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apply

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apply

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animals

Use synonyms

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apply

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apply

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these days,

whereas

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some communities think that

Fix the agreement mistake

zoos

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zoo

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Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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useful

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places

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Verb problem

places

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place

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This

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essay will demonstrate both sides of the viewer in the following paragraphs. Some tourists have an opinion that the

zoo

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is not a good

place

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for

animals

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due to

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limited space and separating them from nature.

Firstly

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, the construction in the

zoo

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is not similar to

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that in

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the forest, which might make

animals

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lack space.

While

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they are in the forest, they have more opportunities to walk, find food, and live in natural sources. Even humans try to build fake spaces for them in the

zoo

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, but the atmosphere of nature cannot be built the same as the original one.

Secondly

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, taking them to a new

place

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, means that the animal has to be separated from their own family.

This

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might cause

animals

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bad feelings.

Moreover

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animals

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have to be on the show

everyday

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every day

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, which is not their own common personality.

In contrast

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, living in a safe

place

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such

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as a

zoo

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is beneficial

among

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for

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them because they will get well on treats and a better quality life of living.

Furthermore

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, the staffs always take care of the

animals

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, which means they will definitely get

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apply

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good treatment in both

foods

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food

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and medicine, unlike living

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their own

sometime

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sometimes

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they cannot heal themself.

Additionally

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, a good community of meeting a variety types living creatures

such

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as humans.

This

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is a good opportunity for them to learn how to adapt themself

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different situations. In the

zoo

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, they

also

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let

animals

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show their talents, which is amazing and makes kids happy from watching their dream

animals

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playing a game show. In conclusion, letting

animals

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live in

the

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apply

show examples

different cultures of

atmosphere

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the atmosphere

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has both benefits and drawbacks as the reason mentioned above. As a suggestion, people should be more

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aware of

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the animal quality of life, to make them happy to stay with humans.

Submitted by piasnatcha09 on Sat Mar 16 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve the use of cohesive devices, such as transition phrases, to better link ideas and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Work on writing a more coherent introduction that clearly presents the topic and your stance.

coherence cohesion

Expand the conclusion to more clearly summarize both sides of the argument and reiterate your own opinion definitively.

task achievement

Try to develop a clearer and stronger thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader through your essay.

task achievement

Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing the persuasiveness and depth of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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Some people think that zoos are cruel and have no place in the modern world. Others feel that zoos still serve a useful purpose. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You would like to buy some electrical goods at a shop in a nearby town. Write a letter to the shop and ask if they have the things you want or whether they will be able to order them. Ask what the prices are and how long they will be able to hold the goods for you.

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.