It can be a struggle to select an appropriate gift for a young relative or the child of a friend. While some believe that money is the best type of gift, I agree with those who suggest other gifts are more suitable.
Many people believe that
money
makes an excellent present. Proponents of this
view may suggest that young people already have what they need in terms of toys and gadgets and
so giving them more will not be of benefit. They Correct word choice
apply
also
argue that the young may actually learn valuable skills from the process of choosing to save or spend their money
. For example
, if the young person
chooses to spend the money
, they will learn the value of things that they wish to buy and what they can or cannot afford. This
could make them more financially mature and independent.
On the other hand
, I am in agreement with those who believe that actual gifts
are better than money
. An important reason is that money
is quite an impersonal gift since it shows no understanding of the interests of the receiver. It isAdd the comma(s)
, therefore,
therefore
more appropriate to give something that shows the adult understands the desires of the young person
, such
as a piece of jewelry
or the shirt of his/her favourite sports club. Change the spelling
jewellery
Furthermore
, an educational gift, such
as a book, or a useful gift, such
as a watch, allows the young person
to develop or improve his/her skills and so is directly beneficial.
In conclusion, whereas
many believe that financial gifts
may increase independence and be popular, I side with those who suggest gifts
showing an understanding of the young person
or which are educational are more beneficial. It is clearly important to consider the needs and interests of young people when selecting gifts
.Submitted by arniaqlina44 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction provides a brief overview of the arguments you will discuss in the essay. It helps set the stage for your main points.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments, particularly in the second paragraph. For instance, mention specific types of books or activities that educational gifts can foster.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally cohesive and logically structured, consider using more transitional phrases to further enhance the flow between your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have made good use of topic sentences to introduce the main points of each paragraph, which helps with coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made in the essay and reinforces your position.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion