It can be a struggle to select an appropriate gift for a young relative or the child of a friend. While some believe that money is the best type of gift, I agree with those who suggest other gifts are more suitable.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Many people believe that

money

Use synonyms

makes an excellent present. Proponents of

this

Linking Words

view may suggest that young people already have what they need in terms of toys and gadgets

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

so giving them more will not be of benefit. They

also

Linking Words

argue that the young may actually learn valuable skills from the process of choosing to save or spend their

money

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, if the young

person

Use synonyms

chooses to spend the

money

Use synonyms

, they will learn the value of things that they wish to buy and what they can or cannot afford.

This

Linking Words

could make them more financially mature and independent.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I am in agreement with those who believe that actual

gifts

Use synonyms

are better than

money

Use synonyms

. An important reason is that

money

Use synonyms

is quite an impersonal gift since it shows no understanding of the interests of the receiver. It is

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

Linking Words

more appropriate to give something that shows the adult understands the desires of the young

person

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as a piece of

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

or the shirt of his/her favourite sports club.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, an educational gift,

such

Linking Words

as a book, or a useful gift,

such

Linking Words

as a watch, allows the young

person

Use synonyms

to develop or improve his/her skills and so is directly beneficial. In conclusion,

whereas

Linking Words

many believe that financial

gifts

Use synonyms

may increase independence and be popular, I side with those who suggest

gifts

Use synonyms

showing an understanding of the young

person

Use synonyms

or which are educational are more beneficial. It is clearly important to consider the needs and interests of young people when selecting

gifts

Use synonyms

arniaqlina44Mon Aug 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that your introduction provides a brief overview of the arguments you will discuss in the essay. It helps set the stage for your main points.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your arguments, particularly in the second paragraph. For instance, mention specific types of books or activities that educational gifts can foster.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is generally cohesive and logically structured, consider using more transitional phrases to further enhance the flow between your ideas.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

You have made good use of topic sentences to introduce the main points of each paragraph, which helps with coherence.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made in the essay and reinforces your position.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

256 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some are of the opinion that children below the age of 12 shouldn’t be allowed to have a mobile phone. Others believe that mobile phones are a useful tool for children of all ages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Investments from the government in visual arts are a waste of money, instead, the government should direct this monetary aid to public services. This essay completely agrees with the statement because art centres do not require any additional financial backing and other sectors require this more.
6
band
Some people think that success in life comes from hardwork and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In modern society, some individuals believe that winning in life comes from dedication and perseverance. Whilst others think that there are more vital aspects such as financial resources and appearance. Both sides of the argument are discussed in detail in this article, and in this essay, I will give reasons to support the first view.
6
band
Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch TV regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Watching television by children has become a widely debate issue in recent years. On the one hand, some people believe that youngsters should watch TV frequently. On the other hand, others argue that young people should not watch TV regularly. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of view and present my opinion. In addition, I will mention how much I agree with this opinion.
7
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age .Purnishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction . To what extent do you agree or disagree ? What sort of purnishment should patents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children ?
It is often argued that youngsters should focus on learning the variance between good and bad things in their childhood, while others believe that imposing various types of punishment may help them to distinguish between good and bad behaviours. I completely disagree with this statement, and I will explain the reasons with my own opinion regarding this phenomenon.
7.5
band
Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this day and age, it is thought that wealthy nations support money for poorer countries, but it does not address poverty. As a result, developed countries should provide practical help to developing countries. I totally agree with this statement and reasons for my viewpoint will be mentioned in this essay.

It can be a struggle to select an appropriate gift for a young relative or the child of a friend. While some believe that money is the best type of gift, I agree with those who suggest other gifts are more suitable.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Some are of the opinion that children below the age of 12 shouldn’t be allowed to have a mobile phone. Others believe that mobile phones are a useful tool for children of all ages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that success in life comes from hardwork and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch TV regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?