Today children are spending much more time watching TV compared to the past. Why do you think this happens? Is this a positive or a negative change?

#children #time #tv #change

Children

are known to spend a lot of

time

watching

in comparison to the past. I believe that there are several underlying factors that can contribute to

this

, and I completely agree that

this

brings more negative change for the

children

. In comparison to the past,

children

are now spending much more

time

watching

due to

lack

of discipline from their parents.

This

can be

due to

the business of their parents and

lack

time

to communicate properly with the

children

. Parents usually allow their

children

to watch

during their free

time

However

, because they are still

children

and

lack

self-discipline, they are prone to waste

time

for entertainment purposes like watching

Firstly

, increasing screen

time

while

watching

means that

children

are more exposed to radiation. Radiation poses a significant threat to them because

children

are usually not aware of the radiation on the

Thus

children

’s eyes are more susceptible to damage and they might use glasses at an early age.

Secondly

children

will have less

time

to connect with other people if they spend too much

time

watching

. Socialising is essential for

children

’s development, as it helps them to grow. Social skills are necessary to help them understand society and develop their empathy.

However

, if they spend excessive

time

watching

, they will

lack

communication skills. In conclusion,

although

it has become more popular for

children

to spend their leisure

time

watching

, I believe that it has brought about too many problems for

this

to be considered a positive trend.

Submitted by tiana29.alisjahbana on Sat Mar 16 2024

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task achievement

While your essay presents a clear argument, incorporating a wider range of specific examples could strengthen your points. Consider adding more detailed instances or real-life examples that directly support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a coherent structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, to enhance coherence and cohesion further, you can make use of a wider variety of cohesive devices. This includes synonyms, discourse markers, and transitional phrases that can help to link ideas more smoothly and make your reasoning clearer.

task achievement

When discussing negative changes or effects, it's beneficial to mention possible solutions or recommendations briefly. This adds depth to your argument and shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic. Include a sentence or two suggesting how these issues could be mitigated or what alternative activities could benefit children more.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

screen time
sedentary lifestyle
educational content
entertainment
relaxation
physical activity
cultural exposure
mental health
visual skills
auditory skills
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Today children are spending much more time watching TV compared to the past. Why do you think this happens? Is this a positive or a negative change?

Fully explain your ideas

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

A friend has written to you asking for advice about a problem at work. You have had a similar problem in the past Write a reply to your friend. In your letter: tell your friend you understand the problem explain what happened to you in the past suggest possible solutions to the problem

Essay topics: An Australian friend is coming to visit you, and it will be his/her birthday during the visit. write a letter to your friend In your letter * say how you feel about the visit * suggest what you could do on his/her birthday *try to find out what you friend thinks of your idea

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passangers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?