In recent years, many local shop owners have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

#years #shop #owners #customers #travel #centers #malls #development

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Nowadays, a lot of small businesses have broken down because people have preferred to go to huge shopping malls than buy things from local shops. I think that

this

Linking Words

situation is a negative aspect of city development because local companies are the best way to provide more

jobs

Use synonyms

and make the distribution of income fairer. On the one hand, large shopping centres promote several

jobs

Use synonyms

during their construction,

however

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, after starting to operate,

jobs

Use synonyms

tend to change from small businesses to big enterprises. Big companies usually have sales and storage processes more efficiently and need fewer people to work.

Besides

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, when shops are concentrated in the same place, services

such

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as food, cleaning, parking, and security can be shared, reducing even more

jobs

Use synonyms

Moreover

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, shopping centres and malls usually pay higher prices than local stores.

For example

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, a T-shirt sold in a shopping mall can be double the price of a neighbourhood shop.

Besides

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, in local stores, most of the parking lots are free of charge,

while

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in shopping centres the customers have to pay for a third-party parking lot.

To sum up

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, there are some good points in

this

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trend, but I think that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits, especially in the creation of

jobs

Use synonyms

and income distribution.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is good for the economy and for the owners and stakeholders of big companies, but it is worse for neighbourhood trades and the finances of families.

Submitted by fmulato on Sat Mar 16 2024

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task achievement

Work on extending and providing more specific examples to support your arguments. While some examples were provided, leveraging detailed instances or data can enhance clarity and strengthen your case.

coherence cohesion

Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance coherence and cohesion, making your essay more polished and easy to follow.

task achievement

Aim to provide a more nuanced perspective on the topic by exploring both the positive and negative implications in greater depth. This will enrich your essay and demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the issue.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

237 words

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In recent years, many local shop owners have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Students may have some problems with health such as eye strain and sleep issues because of the time mostly spent on laptop or computer. And maybe students become more adictted with social media if they use it at school and at home.

Some people believe that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. Others argue that advertisements have a positive impact on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.