Internet shopping will take over physical shops. Do you agree or disagree.
In the contemporary world, technological advancements made online shopping possible to a great extent. The debate about whether internet shopping will completely overshadow physical
shops
is multifaceted, incorporating certain considerations. It is my contention that sooner or later a majority of people
will prefer e-commerce over conventional stores
due to
staggering benefits.
First and foremost, as we live on the edge of technology, current advancements accomplished in the field of technology have caused the digitalization of retail shops
where people
can now purchase their goods through online platforms and different websites. This
urgent demand emerged after the COVID-19 pandemic, while
everyone was stuck at home and incapable of going shopping. Furthermore
, after the development of online software and stores
, their sales have skyrocketed due to
the positive response received from the market. It goes without saying that online stores
do not necessitate any operational costs as opposed to conventional shops
, therefore
, they are able to drag their prices down to operate at the same margin but with a lower selling cost. To exemplify this
statement, individuals find it cheaper to procure materials from online stores
than buy them physically as they may have to incur additional expenses like travel, customs and some intrinsic costs due to
the high operational costs.
Moreover
, since price and mobility are among the top prioritized properties by clients, internet shopping is also
ahead of physical shops
. Presently, the establishment of delivery services has significantly diminished the amount of time for each package to be delivered by a courier, making it desirable for buyers. For example
, although
people
used to struggle during rush hours to go out to purchase necessary goods, it is now possible for them to buy whatever product they would like to buy with a click of a button.
In conclusion, despite physical stores
being a preferable option for certain people
owing to unique criteria such
as the ability to feel and touch the products before purchasing, online shopping has salient advantages.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
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task achievement
The introduction successfully outlines the topic and the writer’s position, yet could be improved by offering a clearer thesis statement that summarily presents the main arguments.
task achievement
Your body paragraphs adequately support your perspective with reasons and examples, but for a higher score, it is recommended to develop these points more fully with more detailed examples and consider including counterarguments to show a balanced view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows a good attempt at organizing ideas but can benefit from more explicit linking words or phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Try using a wider variety of these to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Consider implementing a more structured approach in each paragraph, starting with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanation, example, and a concluding sentence. This structure will enhance both coherence and task achievement.
task achievement
The conclusion succinctly recounts the essay’s main points, but strengthening it with a more decisive final opinion or a glimpse into future implications can enrich your argument.
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