IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

the map below is of the town Galsdon. A new supermarket (s) is planned for the town. the map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.

the map below is of the town Galsdon. A new supermarket (s) is planned for the town. the map shows two possible sites for the supermarket.
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The provided map illustrates two alternative locations for the new grocery store in Garlsdon, a district with 65,000 population.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the future design is considering two distinct areas. The first option is located in the countryside,
while
Linking Words
 the second one opted for the
town
Use synonyms
 centre
area
Use synonyms
 with no traffic zone. The first site is located in the countryside in the west-north of the
town
Use synonyms
 centre, about 12 km to Hindon. It is very accessible either by railway from the centre of the
town
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 or by the main road which connects the industrial
area
Use synonyms
 to Hindon which is occupied by 10,000 population . The upcoming supermarket is planned to be located between the railway and the main road for visitors' convenience. The second location is located the in middle of Garlsdon
town
Use synonyms
. The store is expected to sit in a specific
area
Use synonyms
 with no traffic zone, so it cannot be accessible from a main road.
However
Linking Words
, the railway will run across the site so it still has convenient access for the local communities. It is surrounded by an industry
area
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and has two housing areas on the north side and southern side of the site.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it will be accessible to everyone.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words town, area with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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