IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are going on a short training course at a college in New Zealand. You need somewhere to live while you are there. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In your letter, explain your situation describe the accommodation you require say when you will need it

#course #college #zealand #accommodation #officer #situation
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I am coming for
six
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
month
Correct your spelling
six-month
show examples
 course
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
University
 of New Zealand in
coming
Correct article usage
the coming
show examples
 fall .
Therefore
 , I would like to request
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
room
 in the hostel for a short period. My name is Roopkamal kaur . Currently , I am
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
University
 of British Columbia ,Canada . I am
pursing
Correct your spelling
pursuing
show examples
nursing
Correct article usage
a nursing
show examples
 which
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
six
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
month
Correct your spelling
six-month
show examples
 internship
programm
Correct your spelling
program
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
University
 of New Zealand in
September
. I
check
Wrong verb form
checked
show examples
website
Add an article
the website
show examples
 of the
University
, which
state
Correct subject-verb agreement
states
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 that
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
room
available
Add a missing verb
is available
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 for international students in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 fall. I want to request
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a private
room
 because my
programm
Correct your spelling
programme
require
Change the verb form
requires
show examples
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
7
Change preposition
of 7
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to 8
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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study
Change preposition
of study
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
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a day which would be possible if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 study alone without any disturbance .
Moreover
, It could be easier for me to access the classes if the
room
 is available within the campus area . I would like to request
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
room
 available from
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
 1st because my
intership
Correct your spelling
internship
 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
start on
September
 15. If I move
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 beginning of
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
then
 I have a lot of time to look around
campus
Correct article usage
the campus
show examples
 area and access the
ameneties
Correct your spelling
amenities
. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Roopkamal Kaur.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence which guides the reader about what the paragraph will discuss. This improves the logical flow of information.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to create cohesion within paragraphs and coherence between them. Though your letter is well-structured, using more sophisticated connectives can enhance the readability.
task achievement
Include more detailed specifications about the required accommodation, if possible. Details such as preferred room size, any necessary facilities due to your study requirements, or dietary considerations if meals are included can align your response more closely with the task requirements.
task achievement
Review your letter for any grammatical errors or typos, paying specific attention to subject-verb agreement, correct usage of articles, and punctuation. This will make your message clearer and more professional.
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