Some people believe that criminals should be put into prison as long as possible. However, others believe that it is necessary to educate those people in local community. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

There are different ideas regarding confrontation with those who abuse rules and regulations inside the countries where, some believe they have to be imprisoned as much as possible
while
I believe like some
others
that,
this
kind of behaviour is not an applicable permanent remedy for the well-being of the country and there should be other consideration that I will discuss in
this
essay. It is widely approved by
people
that wrong-doers should not be free in public as they may harm innocent
people
which is absolutely unacceptable. But the question is for how long? On the one hand, some argue and say criminals have to be restricted permanently in prison in order to keep
society
safe. They justify, that those
people
got used to illegal actions and having been freed they will commit another crime.
Moreover
, they assume, that with them being freed many
others
will learn abusive actions
therefore
, the crime rate will rise in
society
. In a nutshell, they think these
people
have to be isolated completely.
While
we know that crime and illegal actions are a kind of abnormality in
society
, we have to figure out some solutions to that and can not escape from its consequences. By way of illustration, criminals can be kept in special places other than prison in order to educate them on how to behave in public and even teach them a profession in order to earn money later on. As with the religious books, we are aware that everybody has the right to live freely as they have been created free.
Therefore
, it is not to us to keep them in custody forever.
Instead
, they must be trained in how to live among
others
respectfully in places
such
as rehabilitation centres for addicts.
Overall
, a plan is needed to cope with
this
issue. In summary, even though criminals should not have access to common
people
in
society
and should be controlled in a way, I strongly believe we can not take the freedom of life from them and rather should work out a plan to bring back
this
kind of
people
to the
society
to live happily and safe with
others
.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and is fully developed with further explanation and examples. This will help in making your main points more supported and contribute to a more coherent essay.
task achievement
Strive to present a more balanced discussion by exploring both viewpoints more equally before stating your own opinion. This will also enhance the task achievement score.
general
Work on the range and accuracy of your grammar and vocabulary. This will not only help in making your essay more coherent but also in adequately achieving the task.
coherence cohesion
Make use of linking words and phrases more effectively to ensure a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve your essay's cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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