We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, there are still a lot of
people
seeking help all around the world. Some
people
believe that we should not help
people
in other nations as long as there are plenty of problems in our own society. I completely disagree with
this
view because I consider that we should try to help as much as many
people
as possible. On the one hand , it is surely important to help our neighbours and fellow citizens. In most communities, there are still families living in poverty
commonly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. More significantly, it is possible to find homeless
people
in the wealthiest of cities. For those who are concerned about
this
problem, there are opportunities to volunteer time or give money to support these groups of
people
. In China, citizens have various ways of helping vulnerable groups in the country,
for instance
, by donating clothing to serving free food in a soup kitchen.As the problems are on our doorstep, there are obvious ways to help. In
this
way, I can understand why some
people
feel that we should prioritize local charity. At the same time, I believe that we
also
have an obligation to help those who live beyond our national borders. In many developing countries, the problems that
people
suffer from can be much more serious than those in our own communities, but they are even relatively easier to help.
For example
, when loads of babies and children are dying from curable diseases in several African countries, governments and individuals in developed countries are able to save these lives simply by paying for vaccines that already exist.
As a result
, a small donation to an international charity might have a much greater positive impact than helping in our local area. In conclusion, it is true that we do not have the ability to help everyone, but in my perspective, national boundaries should not be an obstacle to impede us from offering assistance to those who are in need.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Your essay should have a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on a specific main idea that supports your overall opinion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly introduces the topic and your stance on it. The conclusion should effectively summarize your arguments and restate your position. This makes your essay cohesive and gives it a sense of closure.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific, relevant examples. Using detailed examples strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt. Show a balanced consideration of the topic, but also make it clear why you hold your specific view. This involves not just stating your opinion, but also clearly explaining and supporting it throughout your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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