some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this case? What problem can it cause?

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A long
time
spent using
smartphones
by
children
daily is caused by the addictiveness of those devices. The writer believes that it is a negative change
due to
the harmful effects on
children
's health and the distraction from work. It should be noted that the reason for the overuse of
smartphones
at young ages is that
smartphones
are very addicting.
In other words
, by using
smartphones
,
children
can access a variety of content
such
as movies, books
as well as
games.
Therefore
, because opinions are almost unlimited
,
Remove the comma
apply
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while
using their phone,
children
will be captivated by those things and spend hours and hours playing with them. One of the disadvantages of his development is that it deteriorates
children
's health.
That is
to say, staying in their room and using phones is always more comfortable than doing outdoor activities or housework, which means the more
time
children
spend on their devices, the lazier they become.
Additionally
, the blue light coming from the screens
along with
the raid light movement is very harmful to their eyes when their screen
time
is too high. Another point worth considering is that
children
will be kept away from their work. Simply put, since the Internet is free to access, everyone can post everything they want on it and teenagers can easily use their phones to approach them.
Moreover
, once the teens finish a movie, a book, or a game match, another one will be suggested which creates a never-ending loop.
As a consequence
, when they dive deeper into those entertainment options, they will forge about their work, and when they realize that, it is already too late. In conclusion, the problem of
children
spending most of their
time
using their
smartphones
is caused by the addictiveness of the devices.
Thus
, making the health of the
children
go down and
also
causing distraction.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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