In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Instead
of staying in rented
house, it is preferred to stay in own Add an article
a rented
home
in many places of the world. This
essay will discuss the possible causes of this
situation an
Correct your spelling
and
also
in my opinion it is positive
thing, and I will advocate in Add an article
a positive
the
favor of my Opinion.
The foremost causes of human thinking of self-Correct article usage
apply
home
are comfortable
life and avoiding the expenses of renting Correct article usage
a comfortable
home
. Add an article
a home
the home
Those
, who live in their own house Change preposition
For those
for
Change preposition
apply
them
it is very Correct pronoun usage
apply
much
easy to stay, as they do not have to share the Fix the agreement mistake
apply
home
with others. This
always creates a comfort zone for anyone. Moreover
, the cost of renting a home
in good cities is increasing day by day. To overcome this
extra expense most people plan for self-home
. For example
, many financial authorities offer home
loan schemes, which has
become popular Correct subject-verb agreement
have
from
Change preposition
in
last
decade.
In my opinion, Correct article usage
the last
owing
a Correct your spelling
owning
home
is a positive situation because it gives opportunity
to build a strong community among dwellers. Permanent residency means staying Correct article usage
the opportunity
on
the same placeChange preposition
in
a
long period of time, which makes it possible to create bonding and Change preposition
for a
good
environment for people. They often enjoy various kinds of occasions together. Correct article usage
a good
This
type of environment is also
helpful for the growth of a child. For instance
, one major benefit of staying in a community is people can help each other in difficult times and can enjoy each other’s good moments together.
In conclusion, in modern societies
it is viable to own at least one house to stay Add a comma
societies,
permanently
and I believe its impact Change preposition
in permanently
to develop
a society is very Change preposition
on developing
Important
.Fix capitalization
important
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Your introduction, while informative, could be more engaging with a hook statement or a question to draw the reader in. Your main body paragraphs and conclusion are structured well but remember to clearly link your ideas using transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
Your essay adequately addresses the prompt, but expanding your argument with more diverse examples and a deeper exploration of your ideas could strengthen your response. Consider adding comparisons, potential drawbacks, or discussing a wider range of perspectives.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary to enrich your expression. Avoid repetition by using synonyms and parallel phrases.
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