In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

Instead

of staying in

rented

Add an article

a rented

show examples

house, it is preferred to stay in own

home

in many places of the world.

This

essay will discuss the possible causes of

this

situation

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

also

in my opinion it is

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

thing, and I will advocate in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

favor of my Opinion. The foremost causes of human thinking of self-

home

are

comfortable

Correct article usage

a comfortable

show examples

life and avoiding the expenses of renting

home

Add an article

a home

the home

show examples

Those

Change preposition

For those

show examples

, who live in their own house

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

it is very

much

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

easy to stay, as they do not have to share the

home

with others.

This

always creates a comfort zone for anyone.

Moreover

, the cost of renting a

home

in good cities is increasing day by day. To overcome

this

extra expense most people plan for self-

home

For example

, many financial authorities offer

home

loan schemes, which

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

become popular

from

Change preposition

show examples

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

decade. In my opinion,

owing

Correct your spelling

owning

show examples

home

is a positive situation because it gives

opportunity

Correct article usage

the opportunity

show examples

to build a strong community among dwellers. Permanent residency means staying

Change preposition

show examples

the same place

Change preposition

for a

show examples

long period of time, which makes it possible to create bonding and

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

environment for people. They often enjoy various kinds of occasions together.

This

type of environment is

also

helpful for the growth of a child.

For instance

, one major benefit of staying in a community is people can help each other in difficult times and can enjoy each other’s good moments together. In conclusion, in modern

societies

Add a comma

societies,

show examples

it is viable to own at least one house to stay

permanently

Change preposition

in permanently

show examples

and I believe its impact

to develop

Change preposition

on developing

show examples

a society is very

Important

Fix capitalization

important

show examples

Submitted by mokaddamul on Sun Mar 17 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Your introduction, while informative, could be more engaging with a hook statement or a question to draw the reader in. Your main body paragraphs and conclusion are structured well but remember to clearly link your ideas using transitional phrases.

Task Achievement

Your essay adequately addresses the prompt, but expanding your argument with more diverse examples and a deeper exploration of your ideas could strengthen your response. Consider adding comparisons, potential drawbacks, or discussing a wider range of perspectives.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures and incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary to enrich your expression. Avoid repetition by using synonyms and parallel phrases.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program.to what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many parts of world, children and teenagers are committing more crimes. what are the causes? how should these young criminals to be punished?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Many social media accounts are fake. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

In some countries , government likes to spend more money to spent money on art. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should on health and health discuss both sides and give your opinion.