The best way to reduce youth crimes is to educate their parents with parental skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I slightly disagree with
this
idea. Letting
parents
be exposed to
education
skills is the most efficient
way
to educate
children
morally.
However
, the influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
youth
from the
school
and the
society
should not be neglected. There is no single methodology to reduce
youth
crimes
.
Instead
, it requires
coorperative
Correct your spelling
cooperative
power from different facets to educate the
youth
.
Parents
know their
children
more than any other else, which
indicated
Wrong verb form
indicates
show examples
that
parents
can find the most appropriate
way
to educate
students
.
Children
's characters, tempers or mental states can be taken into
consider
Replace the word
consideration
show examples
most effectively
while
the
parents
play
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
role of educator.
Furthermore
,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
spare
Verb problem
spend
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of the common time with their
parents
.
Hence
,
parents
have plenty of time to educate
students
gradually. A step-by-step process is extremely efficient in
education
, especially in non-subject
education
. In a word, to educate
students
to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contributable
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
, which
infering
Correct your spelling
inferring
that they have a low probability
to conduct
Change preposition
of conducting
show examples
a crime,
parents
' effort is the most important. Though
parents
play an important role in reducing
youth
crimes
, there should not be a so-called "best
way
"
in reducing
Change preposition
to reduce
show examples
youth
crimes
, since
children
can be affected by not only the
parents
but
also
all incidents and things that are exposed to the
children
. A child may become a criminal even
he
Correct word choice
if he
show examples
or she
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
appropriate parental
education
once the dark side of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
is exposed to
this
child. One cannot say that only with great parental
education
,
youth
crimes
can be directly reduced. I believe the best
way
to reduce
youth
crimes
is to integrate forces from the family,
society
and the
school
. The statements indicate the effort that can be
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
from the family side, which
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
parents
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
use parental skills to educate
children
. From the
society
Replace the word
societal
show examples
side, law disciplines should emphasize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not only protecting teenagers from entering places
such
as clubs and bars
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
clear punishments
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
youth
crimes
. From the perspective of the
school
,
students
' mental health and
socialized
Replace the word
social
show examples
ability should not be ignored. Related group activities and opportune one-on-one conversations are needed. To summarize, the best
way
to reduce
youth
crime should not be a direct method only from one facet. The influence
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
three aspects of family,
society
and
school
should be comprehensively discussed.
Therefore
, the best
way
to reduce
youth
crime
should
Verb problem
is to
show examples
integrate efforts from those three aspects.
Submitted by asllchkied on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question asked, with a clear stance that is consistently maintained throughout your essay. Provide a more nuanced argument with specific examples to back up your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on clarifying your essay structure. Begin with a clear introduction, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and then conclude your essay summarizing your key points. Make sure to use linking words and phrases to smoothly transition between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • equip
  • psychological
  • constructively
  • foster
  • empowered
  • isolated
  • escalation
  • multi-faceted approach
  • eradicate
  • peer influence
  • socio-economic status
What to do next:
Look at other essays: