Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?
The majority of individuals
talk
that so much attention and many Verb problem
say
foods
,Use synonyms
drinks
are given in the Correct word choice
and drinks
defend
of Replace the word
defence
Use synonyms
livestocks
and many Correct your spelling
livestock
birds
. Use synonyms
This
essay Linking Words
about
wildlife and their protection. And additionAdd a missing verb
is about
to
, we keep Change preposition
apply
animals
of Use synonyms
extend
species.
Wrong verb form
extended
To begin
with, I partly agree. Many Linking Words
Use synonyms
livestocks
Correct your spelling
livestock
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
life
Replace the word
live
on
the forest and some types of Change preposition
in
extend
species Replace the word
extended
keep
in Wrong verb form
are kept
the
special areas. Correct article usage
apply
Besides
, Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
give
much attention Verb problem
pay
for
Change preposition
to
animals
, Use synonyms
Linking Words
due to
, Change preposition
because
animals
are helpful Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
people
. So, Use synonyms
people
spend many resources, Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and foods
foods
for wild Fix the agreement mistake
food
animals
. The prime example of how Use synonyms
this
scheme Linking Words
work
is Uzbekistan's Red Fix the agreement mistake
works
book
. There are different Capitalize word
Book
birds
, Use synonyms
animals
and plants. Use synonyms
Moreover
, they are Linking Words
extend
species. If we Replace the word
extended
will
not protect Verb problem
do
animals
or some types of Use synonyms
birds
, they will disappear and our ecosystem Use synonyms
shall
suffer.
Verb problem
will
However
, Linking Words
animals
sometimes attack Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
human
when they are nervous. So, Fix the agreement mistake
humans
people
do not want Use synonyms
feed
Fix the infinitive
to feed
Use synonyms
livestocks
.Correct your spelling
livestock
Moreover
,
some sort of Linking Words
birds
live everywhere. Use synonyms
Other
reason is Change the wording
Another
birds
eat different fruits, vegetables and soft Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
are
not edible. So, I from time to time dislike Correct pronoun usage
that are
birds
. Use synonyms
Furthemore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
that is
very messy. The vital reason is we feed up the Linking Words
birds
, so, they come back to our garden Use synonyms
for
eat our Change preposition
to
crop
.
Fix the agreement mistake
crops
To sum up
, I agree. Linking Words
Due
Linking Words
to
, Correct pronoun usage
to this
animals
and some sort of Use synonyms
birds
enhance our ecology and improve fresh Use synonyms
foods
' quality. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
birds
fertilize plants, flowers and trees and Use synonyms
this
very productivity our environment. Linking Words
Therefore
, we should keep and defend our helpful friends. We live well and Linking Words
breathing
easily because of Wrong verb form
breathe
Use synonyms
livestocks
.Correct your spelling
livestock
Submitted by Shaxnoza on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay should clearly address the prompt with a strong position statement at the beginning. Focus on developing a clear thesis statement that guides the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Merging or splitting paragraphs to ensure each one discusses a single main idea will improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary to accurately express your ideas, especially when repeating concepts such as 'animals' or 'birds'. Synonyms and more specific language can make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Errors detract from the professionalism and can confuse the reader. Consider revising sentences that seem awkward or unclear.
task achievement
Incorporate more detailed, relevant examples to support your main points. Specific cases or studies add credibility and depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical flow by using transitions and linking phrases. These help to guide the reader from one idea to the next, strengthening the overall cohesion of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.