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Band 2.5

Young people should seek the guidance of older individuals rather than younger ones. Whether you agree or disagree?

#people #guidance #individuals #ones
yes
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yes,
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i
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I
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 agree with
this
narative
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narrative
. As an adult,
i
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I
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 do agree with the saying that, young people should seek
for
Change preposition
apply
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older
induvidual
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
guidiance
Correct your spelling
guidance
instead
 of
fellow
Correct word choice
apply
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younger ones
due to
 my
experince
Correct your spelling
experience
 in life.I had an uncle who was like a father to me,he was very good at
advises
Wrong verb form
advising
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 to younger generation. I can
confortably
Correct your spelling
comfortably
 say that all the
mistake
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mistakes
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i
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I
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did
Verb problem
made
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 in my life was the ones
i
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I
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 got
advise
Replace the word
advice
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 from my fellow youths. my greatest
regretes
Correct your spelling
regrets
 were the one
advises
Replace the word
advice
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 that
i
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I
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 did not take from my parents and uncles. in Africa where
i
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I
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 was born and bred, we live as a community where every adult can play
a
Correct article usage
the
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 role of a parent to every child whether biological child or not. it was a good experience
to
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for
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 me to the extent that
i
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I
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 started feeling like
i
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I
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 had more than one
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
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. like they say great minds think alike.
i
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I
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 started noticing that all
Correct article usage
the advises
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advises
Replace the word
advice
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i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 get from adults
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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Correct your spelling
similar
similer
Correct your spelling
similar
 and right
while
 those
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 get
fro
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
Submitted by roshnijuneja19182 on

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Introduction
Begin your essay with a clear introduction that states your thesis or main argument. This gives your reader a straightforward understanding of your stance on the topic.
Cohesion
Use structured paragraphs to organize your ideas effectively. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences with examples or explanations.
Coherence
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
Conclusion
End your essay with a concise conclusion that restates your main argument and summarizes the key points you've made. This reinforces your stance to the reader.
Task Achievement
Support your opinions with specific examples or personal experiences. This adds credibility to your arguments and makes them more compelling to the reader.
Balanced Argument
Expand your ideas further and discuss both sides of the argument before concluding with your own opinion. This demonstrates an ability to critically evaluate and compare different viewpoints.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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