In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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이득 이 더 크다 In the modern era, with the developed medical system, there is a phenomenon that
people
Use synonyms
tend to have longer lives in comparison to the past. With
this
Linking Words
trend, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
generations
occur
Verb problem
experience
show examples
severe social issues
such
Linking Words
as pressure
on taking
Change preposition
to take
show examples
care of
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
through
social
Correct article usage
the social
show examples
security system which is run by
government
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funding. In the meantime, other individuals insist that there are more significant advancements in society from older
people
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. Proponents argue that having
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
people
Use synonyms
would bring a variety of social issues in the community.
This
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is fundamentally
due to
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the fact that young
people
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have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
chagces
Correct your spelling
chances
in their career paths from getting a job to having a promotion to go to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work if senior workers still remain
their
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in their
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
rather than retiring.
Coupled with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, once
aged
Verb problem
apply
show examples
people
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are retired
Wrong verb form
retire
show examples
from their work, they should still maintain their lives regardless if they can afford their living costs continuously without new income.
This
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ends up
leading
Verb problem
putting
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pressure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
society
Change preposition
on society
show examples
to look after
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
the
Correct word choice
and the
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eldetly
Correct your spelling
elderly
by
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through
show examples
a
government
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-based fund which will be a
berdon
Correct your spelling
burden
on
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation by contributing more taxes from their income.
This
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has already been raised in many developed nations
such
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as South Korea and Japan as one of the social issues that they should deal with.
Nonetheless
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, the
aformentioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
viewpoint can be considered
plasiable
Correct your spelling
plausible
playable
, there are other
people
Use synonyms
advocating that aged individuals put
their
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in their
show examples
effort and contributions as they have much more
expriences
Correct your spelling
experiences
experience
in their personal and professional lives compared to younger
people
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. A salient example of
this
Linking Words
would be described as
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the older generation can transfer their
experties
Correct your spelling
expertise
to the young generation with their
resouces
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resources
and
kwowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
. More specifically, in the medicine and healthcare sector, senior doctors give junior medical workers the
micro skills
Add a hyphen
micro-skills
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
surgury
Correct your spelling
surgery
and treatment and how to build
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapport with patients.
This
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can
also
Linking Words
broadly be happened in the other fields to teach new workers. More importantly, older
people
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with more
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
can support
to build
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building
show examples
up the new system at the
government
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level by involving the
government
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's new action
planor
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plan or
planner
regulartory
Correct your spelling
regulatory
policies to make society secure for younger
people
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
having more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
older
people
Use synonyms
can lead
Change preposition
to relavent
show examples
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
social
issuse
Correct your spelling
issues
issue
social a more
borden
Correct your spelling
burden
on
government
Use synonyms
based on taxes from
younger
Add an article
the younger
show examples
populace, I personally put my endorsement on that the advantages of older individuals can outweigh the demerits when it comes to personal and
prefessional
Correct your spelling
professional
experiences.
Submitted by yeseulyou92 on

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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction that presents the topic and your viewpoint. Your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position. This strengthens the coherence and unity of your essay.
Paragraph Structure
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Use of Examples
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Grammar and Vocabulary
Work on your grammar and spelling to ensure your essay is easy to read and understand. Pay special attention to verb tenses and word choice. Accurate and varied vocabulary can significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
Task Response
Ensure your essay fully addresses the task by exploring both sides of the argument comprehensively before reaching a well-supported conclusion. This demonstrates a deep understanding of the topic and enhances your essay's effectiveness.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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