Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In today's digital age, social
media
plays an important of individuals's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
all over the world to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
and get news
events
.
This
author argues that the benefits of communication and getting news
events
outweigh the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
of internet distraction. The most advantageous factor of social
media
is that it allows
people
to communicate with other
people
such
as family members, friends or some guys
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
regardless of geographical distances. Social
media
platforms provide convenient communication, From the mentioned knowledge, the attraction of Facebook and Instagram has increased and had a great impact on
people
all over the world. They can stay in touch with their friends and make friends with strangers. Another point of view
just
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
also
be considered that social
media
serves as a powerful tool for staying informed about new
events
. With the ability to follow new outlets and journalists,
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
can access a constant stream of updates on current
events
.
Additionally
, social
media
allows for the rapid dissemination of information, enabling users to share news articles and important updates with their networks.
However
, one of the fears is the internet distraction. Because of the attraction and entertainment of social sites
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people
can be addicted .
This
may be true, but by entertaining it will encourage them to relax and refresh their mind.
Consequently
,
people
should use it in a healthy and balanced way. Taking all points into account, the communication and getting new
events
is outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
the internet distraction.
Submitted by zky1705202 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
To improve in Task Achievement, ensure that your essay directly addresses every part of the prompt, includes a clear thesis statement, and elaborates on the advantages and disadvantages thoroughly. Provide equal development to both sides of the argument to meet the requirement of discussing whether one outweighs the other.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of your essay. Use a range of linking devices to connect ideas within and across paragraphs. Also, make sure that paragraphs are well-developed with a clear main idea supported by examples or further explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revise your introduction and conclusion for clarity and effectiveness. Ensure your introduction sets up the essay topic and your viewpoint clearly, while the conclusion should summarise the main points discussed and restate your opinion, making a strong final impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: