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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #world #media #touch #news #events
Nowadays, the majority of citizens tend to keep in touch with others and update new events by using social
media
. In my point of view,
this
 issue has advantages that outweigh the drawbacks because it brings the connection between
people
 and keeps them updated on their events. The main point that needs to be focused on is that social
media
 is one of the reasons
people
 keep in touch with other
people
. Each person can join the communities on social
media
 by using smart phone and
people
 can chat or call each other
although
 they are strange to each other at first when they have something in common, they can easily be friends. What is more social
media
 can help you to
sent
Change the verb
send
show examples
 a message or call a friend who is far away. Another point to consider is that social
media
 helps users to update news and information. Information is an important thing that needs to be provided by the government and collectors to help them understand events and environments like a war between Russia and Ukraine which can affect
people
 in other countries and the whole world's lives. Like other issues,
people
 using social
media
also
 brings disadvantages and one of them is scams on the internet. Scameer can scam users in various ways like stealing personal details to sell them or money fraud so
this
 risk can affect user’s accounts
also
 they can be bankrupt by these scammers. n condition, social
media
 brings a lot of convenient ways to improve human life
such
 as keeping in touch and updating news but users can be swindled by it
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 scammers. So
this
 essay proved that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphing with each paragraph discussing a specific advantage or disadvantage. Use clear topic sentences to guide the reader.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points more thoroughly with specific, detailed examples. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar to enhance clarity and professionalism in your writing.
task achievement
Strive to present a more balanced discussion by elaborating equally on both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. Doing so will provide a more comprehensive understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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