Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events.Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
There is a considerable number of
people
around the world who use social media
as a way to connect with other people
and absorb global news
. The writer of this
essay holds the view that the advantages of getting the
up-to-date Correct article usage
apply
news
and making people
closer together will surely outweigh the drawback
of being addicted to the Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
Internet
.
There can be no doubt that the widely
use of the Change the adverb
wide
Internet
is spreading overtime
, from urban to rural areas. The main reason for Correct your spelling
over time
this
trend is that,
Remove the comma
apply
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
has become a way to contact with
their relatives in case they are very far away from them. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, many softwares
Correct your spelling
software
such
as Facebook or Zalo offer FaceTime mode, in which people
can make video
call to each other. Add an article
a video
This
way can bridge the gap of distances between them and their families and friends.
Another point worth mentioning is that,
you can get the latest Remove the comma
apply
news
through the Internet
. By using the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
, you can access to
a lot of prestigious newspapers, many of Change preposition
apply
them
can provide to you. With a simple keyword search on your preferred search engine, you can find information from newspapers all over the globe, and many of them are free. Correct pronoun usage
which
Moreover
, Internet
news
is often updated in real-time
. Correct your spelling
real time
This
rapid updating ensures that you stay informed about the latest developments and breaking news
.
Conversely
, there is a group of people
who think that social media
can be harmful to us human
. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
This
belief is based on the fact that we can easily be addicted to it, and our dependence to
it will grow Change preposition
on
swiftly
that we cannot stop it. Rephrase
so swiftly
However
, this
essay debates that many people
are concerned about their health, so they use their digital devices wisely in order to maintain their vigorous.
In conclusion, despite
the Change preposition
apply
drawback
of addicting to the Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
Internet
can be exceeded by the benefits of contacting with
other Change preposition
apply
people
and consuming the current news
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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure your response directly addresses all parts of the prompt. While your essay extensively discusses the advantages of social media, dedicating a more balanced portion to discussing its disadvantages before asserting your viewpoint could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of examples to support your arguments. While you do provide examples, like the mention of Facebook and Zalo for video calling, introducing more varied and detailed examples could further bolster your points and make your argument more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, consider more varied transitional phrases and structuring techniques to smooth out the progression between your ideas and paragraphs. Though your essay is structured effectively, diversifying your use of transitions can enhance readability and flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Rigorously proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and ensure consistency in tense and voice. This will not only improve the professionalism of your writing but also aid in clarity and understanding. Small errors can distract from your well-constructed arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.