IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

At the present time the population of some country include large number of young adult compared with no of older people do ou think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Social media is being used globally in order to stay in touch and obtain news. The author argues that the advantages of distant contact and simplicity completely outweigh the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
 of
addiction
Use synonyms
. It should be self-aware that the most significant benefit of using online communication
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 is the ability to connect regardless of distance. The Internet, in general, and online platforms,
in particular
Linking Words
, offer wide-scale contact
;
Correct word choice
and; therefore
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
, enable people to communicate via long distance. Viet Nam should be taken as a prime example of
this
Linking Words
 application where most online calls are made from 30
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 away
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average.
Thus
Linking Words
, proving the usefulness of social media in terms of communication. Another point
that is
Linking Words
 worth mentioning is the comprehensive and simple-to-use setting. Online
webs
Correct your spelling
websites
show examples
 always get updated, but
instead
Linking Words
 of complicating themselves, more instructions and even a virtual instructor are added
not to mention
Linking Words
 those fabulous features and up-to-date events.
This
Linking Words
 can be witnessed in the history of Facebook where new versions and updates were available every few days. Thereby, making these platforms even more popular.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, some critics argue that the risk of
addiction
Use synonyms
 should not be ignored. It is evident that many teenagers and adolescents are suffering from Internet
addiction
Use synonyms
 as
this
Linking Words
 can be regularly found in the news.
This
Linking Words
 might be justifiable;
however
Linking Words
, with the help of numerous scientists and researchers, we are now capable of incorporating social media with real sports.
This
Linking Words
 not only
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 mitigate the risk but
also
Linking Words
alleviate
Correct subject-verb agreement
alleviates
show examples
 the harmful effects of
addiction
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the merits of remote connection and easiness completely outperform the demerits of risk.
Hence
Linking Words
, utilizing communication via
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 in different aspects of science is recommended.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure the essay directly addresses the question. The introduction should paraphrase the topic and present a clear opinion. The conclusion should summarize your arguments and restate your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wide range of linking words to connect ideas and ensure paragraphs flow logically from one to the next.
task response
Clarify and develop your main points with more relevant examples and details for each argument. Providing specific facts, figures, or studies could strengthen your position.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: