Many people around the world use social media everyday o keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #world #media #touch #news #events

Many

people

around the world use social

media

every day to keep in touch with other

people

and get

news

events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Due to

the development of technology, social

media

has become more and more popular with young

people

nowadays. Beyond daily communication, it

also

plays an important role as a platform for spreading

news

events

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and supporting

people

in accessing current issues. The writer believes that the advantages of social

media

prevail over its drawbacks.

To begin

with the negative side, there are several reasons to argue that using social

media

can be addictive and cause the loss of personal information. These platforms can control all activities on their systems, even spreading out details that you fill in user’s profile

such

as phone number or email on harmful websites.

Besides

, hackers can access your account, taking benefits of it

such

as lending money from your relatives and friends

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and drawing money from your bank account.

Thus

, providing your personal information to a website which is not enough secure can put you not only in danger but

also

lose a huge of prosperity.

However

, social

media

also

possesses lots of positive sides,

for instance

, daily contact and updating

news

. It allows us to keep in touch with each other regardless of distance and meet directly.

People

can send messages and calls every time when they need without time limits.

Moreover

, spreading

news

also

essential in

this

era, ensuring the readers catch up with the trends of the world.

This

also

supports

people

to change day by day to fit in , adapting to the conditions of society. Taking everything into account,

although

social platforms bring drawbacks to us, they still keep a virtual role in communicating and accessing

news

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Mar 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear overall structure, but some parts lack coherence. To improve, ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next by using cohesive devices (e.g., however, therefore, moreover) effectively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but can be strengthened. Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the essay's main arguments, and your conclusion effectively summarizes them, reinforcing your position.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task but can be more comprehensive in exploring and balancing both sides of the argument. To excel, ensure your response fully covers all aspects of the prompt, with a clear position that is consistently maintained throughout.

task achievement

To further clarify and support your ideas, incorporate more specific examples and evidence. This approach will help solidify your arguments and make them more persuasive to the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

facilitate
geographically separated
fostering
connectivity
instant communication
real-time information
misinformation
rigorous checks and balances
fake news
addictive nature
detract
face-to-face interactions
mental health
awareness of limitations

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?
Nowadays, there is no doubt that there is a significant change in all areas like population, education and environment worldwide including in my country. The issues that the public can face in upcoming years are overcrowding with fewer resources as well as unemployment. However, these issues can be recovered by using suitable methods such as family planning methods, and by making education compulsory. The following paragraphs will elucidate both stances in detail with lucid examples.
4.5
band
Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?
It is argued that consumerism is highly influeneced by advertisements companies.I strongly believe that the impact of advertising can be seen on people daily choises. As increasing awareness of the disadvantages among soceity members is one of the suggested solutions for this matter.
7
band
People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?
It is a fact of life that people do not like change. The main problems this causes are missed opportunities and stagnation. The most viable solutions are using self-help resources to develop a more optimistic attitude and taking practical steps to reduce risks.
7
band
Some people say that what individuals do to protect the environment cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.
Whether or not individuals can do anything to ensure the environment stays safe is a controversial discussion point. While some people say that if everyone takes action, drastic changes will take place, opponents such as this writer believe that what an individual does has little effect on the environment and only the government is able to help improve the situation.
4.5
band
In many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages
The continuous use of containers made from plastic has become a common trend in a multitude of food companies across the globe. In this essay, I will discuss why there are more pros to this notion rather than cons and form a conclusion.

Many people around the world use social media everyday o keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people say that what individuals do to protect the environment cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect the environment. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

In many countries, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages