IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

People find it difficult to speak in front of the public or to give a presentation. How important is to speak well in public. Do you think children at school should be taught public speaking?

#people #front #presentation #children #school
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Some feel uncomfortable
while
 speaking in front of many people. The fair influences how they are perceived in their work community.
However
, I strongly believe that teaching kids how to speak in public would solve
this
 problem.
To begin
 with, presenting the results of given tasks is frequently part of being an employee . Most office workers need to face the challenge of giving a presentation.
For instance
, explain what they want from investors. If they do it well, they will be perceived as professional and get a sponsorship. Clearly, it has a tremendous impact on a business.
Therefore
, it is very important to know how to behave during public speeches.
Secondly
, we can start preparation for the future career long before it starts. In my opinion, the pivotal role play teachers and school directors who currently do not adjust a program to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality. Most children are eager to talk in front of others freely.
This
 lack of stress could be used to
taught
Change the form of the verb
teach
show examples
 them
in
Change preposition
at
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 a very early age. Namely, they can be asked to tell any story they want in front of their colleagues from the very first day of classes as part of a curriculum.
Consequently
, they will see public speech as something natural in their
peers
Change to a genitive case
peer's
peers'
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 environment.
To sum up
, some meet difficulties
while
 speaking to a group.
Nevertheless
, it requires
to improve
Wrong verb form
improvement
show examples
 because it is essential to learn before getting a truly responsible task. One of the best
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
 may be to
acknowledge
Verb problem
teach
show examples
 people in primary school how to deal with communication.
Submitted by Aga on

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language
To enhance your essay, consider diversifying your vocabulary to make your argument more compelling. For instance, instead of using 'very important' repeatedly, try phrases like 'crucial', 'essential', or 'paramount'. This will not only enrich your language but also strengthen your argument.
accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to further polish your writing. For example, 'fair' seems to be a typo for 'fear', and 'taught' should be 'teach' in certain contexts. Proofreading your essay can help you catch and correct these slips.
structure
Consider including more varied sentence structures to add rhythm and emphasis to your points. While your essay is well-structured, varying sentence complexity can make your writing more engaging and dynamic.
organization
You've done an excellent job structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs with supported main points, and a succinct conclusion. This organization makes your argument coherent and easy to follow.
task response
Your essay successfully addresses the task, presenting a clear opinion on the importance of public speaking and the value of teaching it in schools. You've provided relevant examples and reasons to support your viewpoint, demonstrating a strong task response.
cohesion
You've used cohesive devices effectively to link ideas and paragraphs, which aids in the smooth flow of your essay. Words like 'to begin with', 'secondly', and 'to sum up' help guide the reader through your argument.
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