Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Social
media
is used in many parts of the world for
information
and communication purposes.
Although
it makes
people
target for other criminals, I contend that social
media
allows
people
to know each other and
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
an exchange of knowledge regardless of their countries. One of the most advantageous reasons to use social
media
is that it connects
people
who have the same interests around the world.
This
is because , on these platforms, individuals could find groups and non-profit organizations that share the same hobbies or dreams.
For example
, avid readers find it easier to find friends who
also
have a strong feeling for books on Facebook rather than in school or in the neighbourhood. It develops a connection between strangers and could begin a relationship, Another point worth considering is that social
media
allows
people
to exchange news and
information
as they happen. With just a smartphone,
people
can upload videos of things they actually see without going through the editing process.
This
helps citizens to watch the events from a third-person perspective.So they can avoid falling into the trap of bad-intention activists.
For instance
, recently, there was a news article about a man who reported badly on a restaurant that refused to let him in because of his disability. It turns out to be an attempt of the man to become famous by getting pity from the public.
However
, some
people
argue that it is risky to go on those online platforms since it is where cyber crimes take place.
This
point has credibility as many Facebook or Twitter users are reported to be hacked and their personal
information
is leaked to illegal websites, but companies of these apps strengthen the firewalls and improve their programs to keep their users'
information
as safe as possible. In conclusion, the risk of coming across cyber criminals is outweighed by the
information
exchanged and the relationship can be found on social
media
.
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Task Achievement
Firstly, work on enhancing the clarity of your introduction. It should clearly state your stance and briefly outline the points you will discuss. Doing so will provide a roadmap for your essay and make it easier for readers to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address the task question directly in both your introduction and conclusion, specifically referring to whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. This will help clarify your position on the issue for readers.
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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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