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Writing Samples
Band 4

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019.

The charts show world pineapple exports by the top three pineapple-producing countries in 2009 and 2019, and a breakdown of the cost to the consumer of each pineapple in 2019.
#show #world #pineapple #exports #three #countries #breakdown #cost #consumer
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The histogram
give
Change the verb form
gives
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about how many
pineapple
Change to a plural noun
pineapples
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 were exported all over the world by the top three producing countries in 2009 and 2019.
Country
 B exported
near
Change the word
nearly
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 4.5
million
 metric
tonnes
 in 2009, which was more than three times as much as
country
 A(1.3
million
 metric
tonnes
). Meantime, the number of
pineapple
 exports of
country
 C
was
Verb problem
apply
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merely exceeded 0.
However
,
pineapple
 exports by
country
 A
boosted
Verb problem
increased
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 sharply to over 10
million
 metric
tonnes
while
country
 B experienced a decline in
production
Correct article usage
the production
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 of
pineapple
as
Change preposition
of
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 1.8
million
 metric
tonnes
 in 2019.
Country
 C went through a slight rise with 0.5
million
 metric
tonnes
 in the same year and still was the
country
 with the least production. The pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 the disruption of cost to the consumer of each
pineapple
 in 2019.
Distrubution
Correct your spelling
Distribution
 and retail accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 largest part
as
Change preposition
at
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 25%
while
 export costs were the smallest proportion
with
Change preposition
at
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 4%. The percentage of profit (18%) and taxes (16%) were the second and third largest proportion separately. The rest breakdown of the cost came from international transport, import licences and
producer
Fix the agreement mistake
producers
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. In summary,
country
 A turned
to
Change preposition
out to
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 be the
top one producing
Correct your spelling
top-producing
show examples
country
 for
pineapple
 exports in 2019 and the majority of the cost to the consumer of each
pineapple
 lay in distribution and retail.
Submitted by JJ on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pineapple, country, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • exports
  • dominant
  • emerging trends
  • production costs
  • transportation
  • retailer markup
  • global trade dynamics
  • sustainability
  • market demand
  • economic factors
  • export volumes
  • logistic costs
  • retail price
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