Most countries want to improve standard of living through economic development,however, others think social value is lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?
It is universally accepted that improving standards of dwelling through economic development has become a national demand.
Therefore
, some argue that social value will be lost. From my point of view, I believe that the advantages of this
action outweigh the disadvantages. This
essay will examine two aspects and outline supporting reasons throughout the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, there are many reasons why improvements are needed for their citizens. The initial matter to be mentioned is that individual nations will become civilizations in developed countries. Due to
the fact that upgrading standards of living by administrations and governments brings a variety of opportunities to the domestic country and local people, this
increases the chances of an optional occupation and personal status. Hence
, people's lives will be better, which means undoubtedly their societies will have a quality of life and stable conditions.
Despite these positive outcomes, however
, there are also
a number of disadvantages. The most important one to consider for this
is that the influence of social values may separate their own statuses. As a result
, social associations can cause inequality among individual dwellers. Another drawback is the fact that governments and authorities can exploit their national income. Due to
the reason that I mentioned, corruption would have happened if people ignored the duty of government. Hence
, it should have authorities to prove the budget, preventing to economic crisis.
In conclusion, although
there are positives and negatives of developing standardized dwellings, I claim that there are more negative impacts. As a suggestion, governments should reveal the detailed budget to improve their country to the population.Submitted by sasinipapj on
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Clarity of Argument
Try to maintain a clear and consistent perspective throughout your essay. In your conclusion, you mentioned believing there are 'more negative impacts', which seems to contradict your initial assertion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Clarity in your stance is crucial for coherence and effective argumentation.
Evidence Support
Work on integrating more specific examples to support your arguments. While you've outlined the general advantages and disadvantages of economic development, incorporating concrete examples can significantly strengthen your points and make your essay more compelling.
Language Accuracy
Pay attention to slight errors in word choice and grammar that can detract from your overall message. For instance, 'individual nations will become civilizations in developed countries' might be a bit confusing in terms of what exactly you are trying to convey. A review for clarity and precision in language use can enhance your essay's effectiveness.
Balanced Argumentation
Your essay effectively outlines both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view on the topic.
Organization
The logical structure of your essay is commendable, with clear paragraphs dedicated to different aspects of the discussion.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly written, effectively bookending your argument and giving your essay a solid framework.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.