IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #space #exploration
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It has been a
while
Linking Words
 since we discussed whether
space
Use synonyms
 exploration is right or not. The more technical improvements developed, the more desire there was for exploring other spaces. Sometimes it seems like a decent time, and our success in technical advancement.
Although
Linking Words
 it is important, I completely disagree with it being the only major factor. Opponents contend that we are already on
earth
Use synonyms
 with plenty of beautiful atmosphere, and we only have to maintain it naturally. They
have believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that the money spent exploring other planets should go to the poor people
instead
Linking Words
 of finding new solutions.
For example
Linking Words
, it is shown in recent research,
extraordinary
Correct word choice
that extraordinary
show examples
 spending for exploring other planets could generate tons of employment and well-being for people.
However
Linking Words
, advocates that we have to explore other spaces contend that it would be better
to begin
Linking Words
 our new world
instead
Linking Words
 of living on
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
. They believe that new
space
Use synonyms
 will bring us new life without war, poverty, and environmental problems. As discussed above, I absolutely disagree with spending tons of money exploring another
space
Use synonyms
 without consideration of the quality of welfare on
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
. In conclusion, it would be better for humankind to positively find solutions to living together rather than explore another
space
Use synonyms
 for the worries of living on
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
Submitted by enoklee on

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task achievement
Introduce your essay with a clearer statement of your position on the topic. This will help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include a wider range of sentence structures and linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This can increase the persuasive power of your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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