The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.

The diagram below shows the recycling process of aluminium cans.
The diagram illustrates the process of recycling
aluminium
cans
.
Overall
, there are 9 steps in the whole process. The
cans
need to go through many processes before
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can be melted again. Interestingly, 74
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
aluminium
cans
in the United Kingdom are recycled.
First,
the used
cans
are littered in the bin for
aluminium
cans
only.
Then
, the
cans
are collected and transported by a truck to the
aluminium
recycling plant. In
this
stage, those
cans
will be cleaned, sorted, shredded, and compressed. After that, the compressed
cans
are heated and melted.
Then
, it is made into a thin roll of
aluminium
that is
2.5 millimetres by 6 millimetres thick; it is produced into new
aluminium
cans
.
Finally
, the recycled
cans
are able to be reused again like in England where 74 percent of the
cans
they use are recycled. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recycled
aluminium
cans
are able to perform the same as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newly made
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Submitted by dondollaraus on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words aluminium, cans with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • recycling process
  • aluminum cans
  • collection phase
  • sorting and cleaning
  • contaminants
  • crushing
  • melting phase
  • molded
  • energy efficiency
  • environmental benefits
  • economy
  • sustainable practices
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