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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

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In the digital days, networking
sites
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 provide easy access to information for everyone or keep contact with
friends
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 and that led to more humans using social
media
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 to read the
news
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 or contact
friends
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 or relatives around the earth.
This
Linking Words
 author argues that social
media
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 can reduce the complexity of approaching
news
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 and keeping in touch the communication between people
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
close-up
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
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 the fake
news
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 and scams via social
media
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. Admittedly, social
media
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 growing rapidly and bringing many conveniences. First of all, it can be seen that the amount of
news
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 around life and the world is countless and reaching all
that
Correct determiner usage
those
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 pieces of information is difficult, and the popularity of social networks can help everybody reach more
news
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 easily
according to
Linking Words
 posts or short video clips. Most people have their own social
media
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 accounts
such
Linking Words
 as Facebook or Snapchat, and it is uncomplicated for everybody can read and entertain at the same time.
For example
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, in
this
Linking Words
 era, it is easy to post
apply
Verb problem
apply
show examples
news
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 around the world on Facebook or Instagram.
Additionally
Linking Words
, social networks can bring more opportunities for everyone all over the world can find more
friends
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 and keep in touch with them or relatives who live far away. Most social networking
sites
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 provide chatting and video calling on their
sites
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 and that helps more people can have a meeting online to talk with each other.
As a result
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, a lot of abroad students feel homesick and lonely when they come to a different country and live far from home in order not to miss home they can call family or
friends
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 on social
media
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 apps easily.
However
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, despite these benefits, I believe that there are more problems that come from networking
sites
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.
Although
Linking Words
, it is true that these
sites
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 bring more benefits, anonymous scams and canards increasing. In fact, some bad guys can be using a ghost account or
impersonate
Wrong verb form
impersonating
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 someone else to scam amounts of money.
For example
Linking Words
, in Vietnam, there was a celebrity’s identity was used to commit fraud and
porperty
Correct your spelling
property
 appropriation. In conclusion, the benefits
rewards
Correct word choice
and rewards
show examples
 that social
media
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 can bring can be useful, but in my view, it still has a lot of risks.
Therefore
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, on balance, the convenience and usefulness of social networking
sites
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 outweigh the dis

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction broadly outlines the topic and your stance clearly, aiming for a concise yet informative start.
supported main points
Develop paragraphs with a clear main idea and provide specific examples to support these ideas, enhancing the overall argument.
complete response
Fully address the prompt by discussing both sides equally before reaching a well-supported conclusion that reflects the prompt's demands.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and expand your ideas to ensure they are fully developed and comprehensive, avoiding overly general statements.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more varied and precise examples to directly support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.
logical structure
Enhance the logical flow of your essay with more effective use of linking words and cohesive devices, ensuring a smoother reader experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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