The obesity rates among teenagers have increased dramatically in many developed countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

Nowadays in many countries, young

people

are growing in weight. Which is evil badly in their bodies and

also

leads to early death.Early obesity causes several problems. There are some reasons why adults gain weight early they themselves are to blame for

this

For example

, lack of movement, some

people

are doing little physical exercise, some are not doing it at all, and sitting a lot, some

people

are only doing things

while

sitting, and

this

definitely leads to obesity. Poor diet sometimes

due to

lack of time and sometimes

people

themselves fast food and harmful products. There is another reason to obey some young

people

, which of their families will have negative changes in the imminent of many nervous children. We need to find some ways to reduce

this

among young

people

and apply them to young

people

and hopefully, it will show good results.

Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on Tue Mar 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve task response, ensure your essay fully answers all parts of the question. In this case, your essay should clearly discuss the reasons for the increase in obesity rates among teenagers and suggest concrete solutions. Make a more deliberate effort to cover both aspects comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should present your topic and outline the points you will discuss, while the conclusion should summarize your points and reiterate your main stance without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

Develop and support your main points with relevant examples and explanations. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and explore it in depth. Adding real-life examples or statistical data can enhance the argument's strength and relevance.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas into a logical flow. Each paragraph should connect to the next in a way that makes your argument easy to follow. Use transition words to help achieve this coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

146 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some parents think giving children expensive gifts creating bad habits. do you agree or disagree
A lot of parents believe spoiling pupils with luxury things is the same as supporting bad behaviour to grow. I believe that is true because it can promote such insensitive behaviour. This essay will discuss why I agree with this statement and provide examples to strengthen my arguments.
7.5
band
In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
It is common practice for urban planners to create specialized zones in cities by separating shops, schools, offices, and homes from each other. This essay will weigh the advantages and disadvantages of this approach and argue that the drawbacks of this phenomenon outweigh the merits.
7
band
Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but so are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?
The pursuit of economic progress often comes at the expense of certain social values. In my opinion, though economic development undeniably engenders numerous benefits, it is key to prioritize tradition.
6
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this?
There has been a constant debate about whether the rising popularity of fast food is a positive trend. In my opinion, this is a negative trend.
6
band
In recent days, a lot of people are spending a lot of money on celebrating personal family events, for example, New Year celebrations, birthdays, weddings and so on.
In recent days, a lot of people are spending a lot of money on celebrating personal family events, for example, New Year celebrations, birthdays, weddings and so on.

The obesity rates among teenagers have increased dramatically in many developed countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some parents think giving children expensive gifts creating bad habits. do you agree or disagree

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices, and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, most countries can improve the standard of living through economic development, but so are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of this phenomenon outweigh the disadvantages?

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic: Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this?

In recent days, a lot of people are spending a lot of money on celebrating personal family events, for example, New Year celebrations, birthdays, weddings and so on.