IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You and your family are moving to another country for work, and you are looking to buy a house there. Write a letter to a property agent. In your letter: Introduce yourself and your family Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find Give your preference for the location of the accommodation

#country #work #house #property #agent #type #accommodation #hope #location
Dear Sir or Madam, I hope
this
 letter will find you healthy. I am Jony. My family name is Brown. Nowadays I live in Tashkent and work in a night restaurant. But I will leave Uzbekistan with my family.
That is
 why I am writing to you so you will solve my issue. I want to go to New York. Because New York is a very rich city and very attractive. It has a lot of jobs and activities for me and my children want to study abroad. I need a very comfortable house for my family. I think have a lot of houses in New York. My family want wonderful and handsome. I have a
desirefor
Correct your spelling
desire for
abig
Correct your spelling
a big
big
 window. Because my wife's favourite hobby is seeing the city. I hope the matter will be resolved. I look forward to receiving a prompt reply. Yours sincerely, Jony
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Introduction Improvement
Begin by working on crafting a more polished introduction. Instead of stating, "I hope this letter will find you healthy," consider a professional opening such as, "I am writing to inquire about potential housing options in New York, as my family and I are planning to relocate there for work reasons." Introduce yourself and your family in a more coherent manner.
Paragraph Structure
For clarity and impact, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea. Your first paragraph should introduce you and your reason for writing, the second could detail your housing needs and preferences, and the third could discuss your location preferences.
Sentence variety
Improve fluency and avoid repetition by varying your sentence structure. Use synonyms and different sentence constructions to make your letter more engaging and to better express your ideas.
Content Detailing
Consider providing a more detailed description of the accommodation you seek. Including specific requirements related to size, number of rooms, or any particular amenities can make your requirements clearer to the recipient.
Closing Improvement
When closing your letter, request a response by considering a more engaging and polite formulation, such as, "I eagerly await your response and am hopeful for your guidance in finding a suitable home for my family in New York." This provides a positive note and shows anticipation of their cooperation.
Grammar Correction
Proofread your text to correct grammatical errors and improve the overall readability. Consider using tools or asking for feedback from native speakers or English tutors to help identify and correct mistakes.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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