Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
These days, more and more people
work
outside their workplace due to
new technology.
Although
it allows workers to do their job anywhere, I think our office or our company is a way to socialize which is crucial for human beings.
Firstly
, the Internet or computers allow employees to accomplish their tasks from anywhere which is a kind of freedom. For example
, they can start or finish working at the time they want . Also
, they don't have to waste time in traffic jams or in transportation. As a result
, they can save money on clothes or on public transport. For instance
, if workers work
from home, they don't have to get dressed in formal clothing like suits, ties etc...
On the other hand
, working outside our workplace isolates us and reduces drastically our chance to make friends or to date someone, which is the aim of human society. It is well known that most friends or couples are formed at work
.
E.g, during the covid lockdown, everybody had to stay at home , as well as
workers. It was very difficult to work
far from our colleagues which makes us feel alone or depressed. The only way to have contact with the rest of the world was the Internet, even for work
.
In addition
, concentration and efficiency are other issues generated by working oustide
the office.
Correct your spelling
outside
For example
, having children making noise or turning on the television are sources of disturbance for efficient work
. When people are working, they need specific conditions that allow them to focus on their tasks.
In conclusion, today, thanks to new technology, people can work
wherever they want which makes them feel free. However
, I think that the benefits of working far from the workplace do not outweigh the disadvantages. As I said below, we all need good conditions to work
properly and need human interactions, which are often created at work
.Submitted by leared on
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logical structure
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure. Consider utilizing an introduction that clearly states your thesis, followed by separate paragraphs for each point, and conclude with a summary that reiterates your stance.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are well-defined. The introduction should present the topic and your stance clearly, while the conclusion should summarize the key points and restate your opinion.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. While you provided examples, diving deeper into these examples could strengthen your argument.
complete response
Your task response is adequate but can be improved by elaborating on your points and providing a more nuanced discussion of the benefits and disadvantages. Consider exploring each aspect more deeply for a more comprehensive analysis.
clear comprehensive ideas
You made some good observations, but your ideas would benefit from clearer and more detailed expression. Work on developing your points more fully for a stronger argument.
relevant specific examples
Your examples are relevant, but they could be more impactful if they were more specific and detailed. Try to incorporate more concrete examples that vividly illustrate your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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